Death in Absentia
by Dominus Trinus
Summary: If Phoebe had died in the explosion, chances are Paige also didn't survive. The theory has four major flaws: 1) Piper and Billie survived; 2) Piper never searched for her; 3) Paige can orb and 4) Piper and Paige are sisters and no matter what, sisters protect each other. Two-shot.


**Disclaimer: **If I owned Charmed, we would all be watching this story as an episode on TV instead. *Sigh* But sadly, I don't even own the dialogues from episodes used in this story. So here we are.

**A/N:** I know I probably should be updating my other story, but this idea kept nagging at me to be written and posted. I blame the show's writers for not having Piper look for Paige at the end of Kill Billie Vol. 2. And the episode Styx Feet Under. And the general lack of Piper and Paige sisterly moments...and the Charmed fanfic Challenge by WyaRose.(Hoping you still exist and will update your Charmed fics).

I'm sure everyone has watched _Kill Billie Vol. 2_ and _Forever Charmed_ by now. And know _All Hell Breaks Loose_ and _Morality Bites_, by heart, right? ;-) So without spoiling anything more, all I can say is enjoy :-)

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Nagging.

Persistent nagging.

That's how she would describe it had someone or something asked her why she was still awake.

Something was nagging at her. Gnawing at her. Pulling at the hinges of her mind and keeping her away from well-deserved sleep.

The last time she had experienced the feeling, she discovered she was a mother, who had apparently forgotten her own child, thanks to the immaculately dressed beings called, Cleaners; beings who were strangely absent when she and Prue had accidentally exposed magic to the world.

But this wasn't about them…or that fateful day.

This was about Piper Halliwell wanting to get what she long deserved after the Ultimate Battle.

A happy, peaceful, normal demon-free existence.

Or a dream about it as she slept, snuggled against her warm, cozy and unfrozen husband.

Only way for that to happen was to cast a sleeping spell on herself, wait for the Sandman—who hopefully the Magical Community hadn't turned against the Charmed Ones—to sprinkle dream dust on her face.

_Or_ she could determine the cause behind the nagging sensation and deal with it.

The former was more tempting, but she knew she had to settle for the latter option.

She didn't want to wake up tomorrow and learn she was a proud mother of not one, but _two_ wonderful children erased from existence.

Last time she had checked, Wyatt and Chris were slumbering peacefully. The mere fact she was currently worried about them meant they still existed.

Phoebe and Paige were with their respective other halves and even if she was gone, Piper hoped Prue was safe and sound and happy with Mom and Grams. Maybe even Andy.

So that only left one loose end to deal with.

Billie Jenkins.

Or rather forgive her for everything.

But Piper couldn't.

Not now anyway. Someday perhaps? Or _ever_?

That was incredibly hard to imagine.

Phoebe and Paige had conveniently forgotten, but Piper remembered everything vividly; the ancestral mansion….her childhood….her home…..everything reduced to rubble; Phoebe, her baby sister…bruised, battered and dead.

And just when there seemed to be a glimmer of hope that maybe…just maybe she wasn't the only survivor, it was brutally crushed when she discovered it was Billie.

And then rage consumed her. She channeled all of it into her fingers as they squeezed the throat of the person responsible.

It had to be the first time Piper wanted to kill someone with her bare hands. If it weren't for her recently returned husband's interference, she most certainly would've succeeded.

How could anyone in their right mind expect her to forgive someone who not only tried, but _actually_ killed her sisters?

For the greater good.

Ironically, not so long ago Leo's long-time mentor, Gideon—an Elder-sang the same tune as he tried to eliminate her son for the greater good.

Oh but Billie went far enough to not only use her three-year old son to summon the Hollow, but absorbed his powers as well.

If Chris hadn't orbed a powerless Wyatt away, Billie and Christy might've actually done what Gideon failed to do. They might've…..they could've….

"_That is all in the past, dear," _Grams earlier words replayed in her mind, halting the chaotic thoughts_. "Now let's just focus on how to fix it now, okay?"_

Easier said than done in Grams case since now, she didn't remember a thing.

"_But she at least tried to help out, right?" _Coop's previous words reasoned with her._ "I mean, tried to make amends at least."_

Taking a deep breath, Piper released her clenched fists, her anger abating slightly.

Yes she did.

As hard as it was for Piper to admit it. And as a result, Billie ended up accidentally killing her only sister.

Her big sister.

Still, Piper couldn't even force herself to feel sorry for her. Or relate to her.

Just apparently lose sleep because of her.

"Great…just great," Piper grumbled, now tempted more than ever to knock herself unconscious. But the last thing she wanted was her dreams filled with Billie, on her knees, sobbing her heart out and perhaps wishing things had ended differently…if only she had the power, she could change how things ended with Christy…..

Piper deadpanned, a realization suddenly striking her.

Unfortunately, Billie _had_ the power.

"_Son of a bitch_!" Piper cursed out loudly, only to smack her palm over her mouth a second later. She peered at the staircase, waiting for any noise to indicate the sleeping occupants had awakened thanks to her outburst.

Nothing.

Letting out a relieved sigh, she removed her hand and settled back on the living room couch.

So she was wrong. She could somewhat relate to Billie. And if Billie decided to make amends with how things ended with Christy, Piper could lose everything all over again.

But wait.

Didn't the Angel of Destiny say it was all over? That she wasn't going to take Leo away again? That quote: "_this is how the battle was supposed to end all along__"__,_ with a huge smile before she thundered away in sparkles?

So why did this…..unsettling feeling lingered? As if Piper missed something? Something very important.

The grandfather clock suddenly chimed, almost making Piper jump out of her skin.

If she possessed Paige's powers, she probably would've orbed to the next continent.

Or with their luck, some alternate reality where she prowled the streets at night, clad in black leather, preying on helpless demons as she sought vengeance on a still alive Shax for Prue's murder.

All because Paige never met them.

All thanks to Paige's orbing…a reality which never became real.

And something really tugged at Piper's mind.

However, she ignored it and re-shifted her focus towards the Billie dilemma.

Perhaps it would be in everybody's best interest if she found the blonde and dragged her back from wherever she was.

Better to be safe than sorry Leo had stopped her from choking the blonde to death.

Or blowing her up.

Without a second thought, Piper reversed the _To Call a Lost Witch_ spell, chanted and found herself in... the _exact_ same location. With only one slight difference.

Time.

A different time.

The past; the one she desperately wanted to forget.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Piper let her gaze wander over the ruins of the decimated Halliwell Manor.

Why of all the places in the past did Billie choose to come here? Christy was dead in this time period.

After a minute or two of surveying the remains of her home, she caught sight of the familiar blonde hair, kneeled beside her sister's body.

No. Not her sister, Christy's body; Piper's sister's body. Phoebe's body!

"Hey!_ You!_" Piper yelled, hands poised and ready to permanently blow the young witch to smithereens. "Get away from her! _Right now_!"

The threat failed to even stir the young backstabbing bi—witch.

"I said get away!" She received the same outcome.

Suspicious, alert and pajama-clad, Piper cautiously approached her. "What exactly do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "Why—" She quickly averted her eyes when they caught Phoebe's dead body, "—why did you come here?"

Billie drew a long, shuddering breath. "C-Christy," she croaked, "w-what me and Christy did to you guys…..and what she…..wanted to do again…i-it makes it hurt less. Seeing all this makes it hurts less."

"Makes what hurt less!" Piper snapped intolerantly, hating having to experience this nightmare again.

Billie choked back a sob. "It makes killing my sister hurt less."

Piper visibly recoiled.

While the very destruction haunted her and gave her the reason _not_ to forgive Billie, Billie viewed the death and destruction as the reason to justify killing her own sister.

Piper should've sympathized a bit. Or atleast put up a façade of sympathy. Of course having Phoebe's murderer right next to her dead body made that impossible. Past tense or not.

"You need to go." Piper remained as distant as an Elder. "There are consequences to being in the past and trying to change it."

"I'm not going to change anything, _Piper_." Billie seemingly moved from the guilt stage of grief to the anger-and-blame-others stage. "I understand the consequences….and everything else too, perfectly now."

"Good." Piper didn't even try to hide her own resentment.

"Leo is more important to you than saving innocents or someone's long-lost sister or half-sister. I get it now."

Half-sister.

Long-lost half-sister.

The nagging feeling spiked tenth fold.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Piper asked quietly, not liking the implications of what Billie was accusing her of.

Billie lightly grazed her own throat. "If you weren't concentrating on trying to choke me, you would've noticed."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Piper felt a strange, cold dread in the pit of her stomach. "_What is that supposed to mean, Billie_!" she shouted when Billie started walking away.

Stopping, Billie only chuckled bitterly. "Boy...Prue must've been some kind of sister to you."

The remnants of the already destroyed grandfather clock suddenly exploded behind them.

Neither one of them flinched, though.

"You...you have _no_ right!" Piper hissed menacingly, violent rage sweeping her at the intended insult aimed at her beloved sister. "You have _no_ right to say her name!" And especially not while standing near her dead baby sister and destroyed home.

"See? Even now you can't stop protecting her. And I get it now. I get what losing a sister feels like," Billie threw her a pitying look—or a pretty good imitation of one. "It's like a piece of you dies too and…you never really move on. And after that...no matter how much we tell someone that they're like a sister to us, it really isn't true, is it Piper? You just can't care for someone who used to be a stranger. Not like a sister. They can't ever be like a sister."

"_Why am I even explaining this to you? It's not like you care!"_

"_Of course we care__," _Paige had insisted to a raging Christy a few weeks ago._ "We care about you, we care about Billie. Billie's been like a sister to us."_

"_Well Billie's not your sister!" _Christy had practically snarled at both Piper and Paige.

"I could never be like a sister to you," Billie stated grimly, almost disappointingly. "No matter how many demons I vanquished…saved your lives….helped you….you still would've never accepted me. Maybe Phoebe, if I didn't screw up everything. But not you, Piper."

"No," Piper said honestly, still seething. "Never." Billie Jenkins would never be a friend, let alone a sister to her or to anyone else.

"Then I'm glad I'm not your sister right now." Billie suddenly tossed something toward her which she clumsily caught.

Piper gawked at the item; an almost charred stuffed toy. A clown.

Slappy the Clown.

"And I'm so glad I never was the stranger who replaced your precious sister, Prue. It's just... so easy to forget strangers and presume them dead." Billie glared at her with repulsion. "Even when they're actually alive."

Piper reeled back with a sharp gasp, as if Billie's words had physically stabbed her through the heart.

The clown slipped from her hands.

No.

No, it couldn't be.

It was a trick.

It was a lie.

It was a sick, twisted lie Billie invented to seek revenge for Christy's death.

"Piper...what are you doing? You can't change the past_!"_ Billie's angry warning sounded so distant. "There are consequences to changing the past!"

Piper was vaguely aware her feet were moving—running, or that her eyes were scrutinizing every nook and cranny, trying to recognize anything that resembled pale limbs, Jimmy Choo shoes and dark brunette hair. Or was it black?

She recognized one thing though, among the wreck which were her emotions right now.

Panic.

Her freezing powers worked when she panicked.

Paige shared the trigger.

Instead of freezing things, Paige orbed.

Shax couldn't kill her like he killed Prue because she orbed.

The unborn baby of Cole slash Source failed to do the same because she orbed.

As a Fury, Piper couldn't slice Paige's throat with her talons in rage because she orbed.

Cole changed reality, but Paige wasn't affected because she orbed.

Piper hurled Excalibur at Paige's head for trying to steal it away, but was unsuccessful because Paige orbed.

Billie and Christy failed to kill them with a massive fireball, in their own attic, because Paige safely orbed them away.

"_He-he didn't, he didn't see the car that swerved into our lane, and the next thing I know, I'm on the pavement, the car is on fire. I still don't know why I survived and they didn't." _

The car crash that killed her parents—the one Paige blamed herself for—she later discovered she had instinctively orbed away and survived.

And Piper just assumed, that if Phoebe died, then there was no chance of anyone else surviving.

But Paige was different. Paige wasn't Phoebe.

Paige was a half-whitelighter and whitelighters could orb!

Her husband used to be a whitelighter. For God sakes she gave birth to two half-whitelighters!

How could she forget _that_? How could she forget something like that?

"_I mean, come on, after all, she's, like your what, half-sister?"_ Cole's memory tried to justify her forgetfulness. _"You didn't grow up with her or anything, you've only known her for like a year and a half, right? So compared to Phoebe she's like a stranger."_

And it's so easy to forget strangers…and assume they died.

"Don't, Don't be….Please don't be…" And Piper felt guilt flood her just by thinking the words. _Don't be alive._

Billie was wrong.

_Please let Billie be wrong._

She had called for Paige.

Paige would've responded if she wasn't….. Paige would've sensed her location and orbed to her. She would've...she would….

Piper blinked to clear away her blurry vision, only for her world to crumble on finally recognizing something.

Unlike Phoebe, there were no tattoos on the wrist.

Neither Paige nor Christy sported any tattoos. But there was only one way to be certain who it really was.

_Let it be Christy. Please let it be Christy…_

Piper slowly removed the debris and...

And was reminded of a familiar sight of Prue, lying broken, pale, cold to the touch. No matter how many times Piper begged and pleaded, nothing changed. Prue never moved again.

"Paige?" she whispered brokenly, hovering back. "Are you…can you…hear me?"

Phoebe had a gash on her head and a few visible injuries, but Paige? It would be a miracle if Piper even found a pulse, let alone get an answer.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she whispered, bowing her head.

And just like Paige defied all rules by simply existing, she coughed. Unlike Prue or Phoebe, her eyes fluttered and slowly opened, without any begging and pleading on Piper's part.

Piper dropped to her knees beside her, more from shock, than relief.

Honey-brown eyes darted around before they finally settled on her.

Paige squinted, as if unsurely before her split lips slowly curled into a smile which lit up her entire face.

Pure joy.

Despite the dirt and blood streaked on her face, Paige Matthews looked genuinely happy about something.

In other words, the exact opposite of how Piper was feeling right now.

Any coherent words to ask about the source of her half-sister's joy were lost when she suddenly found herself being embraced, fiercely.

The surprise hug mirrored the one Paige had given her after she returned from Cole's twisted alternate reality.

A few things were different this time.

Paige's uneven breathing and her trembling body as if some darklighter arrow had embedded in her. And the blood that now smeared Piper's palms from merely patting Paige on the back.

Piper swallowed guiltily. "Paige...Are you okay?" she asked softly, despite everything pointing to the exact opposite.

"Yeah. I'm okay now," Paige responded, the physical definition of _not okay, _yet her hoarse voice was laced with cheerfulness. "Are you okay?"

"Yup. Uh-huh." Piper lied, the mental and physical definition of _not okay_ mixed in a cauldron full of guilt. "I'm good."

"Great."

Realizing the embrace had lingered longer than either one of them ever shared, Paige slowly drew back. "I-I'm sorry." She gave an embarrassed chuckle. Humor, a defense mechanism she often used to deflect emotional or serious situations. "I…..think my sensing just went out of order a-and I thought you….."

"Thought what?" Piper prodded, despite being guilty of thinking the exact same thing. And leaving.

"Doesn't matter," Paige dismissed, smiling happily. "You're here now."

"Well, it takes more than a little explosion to kill me off." Apparently when it came to Paige, Piper also used the humor technique.

"Actually…." It seemed like Paige was about to contradict, but winced instead. "Y-You….have a funny definition of little." Her bloodied face then contorted in anguish Piper had only witnessed twice. "I-I…can't sense Phoebe. Is she...i-is she okay?"

Phoebe.

Her baby sister's name snapped Piper back to reality—her reality; her own time, where Phoebe was fast asleep in her condo, dreaming or snoring, or probably doing both.

"Piper?" Distress shone in Paige's eyes. "Where's Phoebe?"

"Phoebe is…." Piper forced her voice to sound casual, "she's going to be just fine."

Paige Matthews—the woman who could practically smell the Source of all Evil when everyone else saw a loving, caring and generous brother-in-law and husband—didn't buy her answer. "I can heal her." She made a move to get up, but grimaced painfully, failed and started to try again. "I-I can heal Phoebe."

No, she couldn't. But in the end, Phoebe was going to be just fine. And so was Paige.

And that was the problem.

"No. You…you just don't move." Piper grasped her shoulders, halting any further movements. "Phoebe is just fine." She put much assertiveness in the half-truth as possible. "She's going to be alright. The only person who needs healing is you, so don't mov—are you even listening to me?" She asked when Paige's eyes closed and her anxious expression was replaced by a relaxed, meditative one. "And...you're not. You're not even listening to me."

"I-I still can't sense her. Anywhere," Paige spoke, frowning in concentration. "I can...sense you...here." Her eyes flew open in amazement. "And at Phoebe's condo."

Piper Halliwell, the molecule immobilizing—or just simply the time-freezing witch, literally froze. Until...

Paige winced and tentatively rubbed her head. "I….I must've hit my head harder than I thought."

Piper thawed, struck by a idea. "Can you….can you orb to her? _Me_ at Phoebe's condo?"

Paige looked thoroughly confused. "What?"

"Can you orb to the condo?" Piper quickly rephrased. "Can you orb there?"

The Piper of this time period, she can promise Paige everything will be alright. She can change things without there being dire future consequences.

But she—the Piper who shouldn't be here—she had nothing to offer. If she saved Paige right now, she could be back to square one: losing Leo, dealing with the Triad, Billie and Christy—repeat everything all over again.

And the other possibility?

She could vanish…fade away. Similarly like her future self who told her to let Miles die or else Phoebe and Paige would. Similarly like her son who—

Piper closed her eyes, a wave of guilt accosting her.

She couldn't do anything for Paige right now.

Piper opened her eyes when she felt Paige's hand grasp hers.

Paige's eyes were closed and her face screwed up in immense concentration.

Y_ou_ not _us, _Piper clearly recalled saying_. _And even without thinking, Paige had been ready to take her. Not to leave her behind.

"I…I can't." Paige panted exhaustedly, after briefly disappearing and reappearing in the same spot. "I'm…I'm sorry."

If Paige couldn't orb to Past Piper on her own and Piper couldn't do anything to save Paige then—

"It's okay. It's completely ok—It's fine." Piper was seemingly reassuring herself more. "I could…we…I…." She sighed, finally giving up. "I'll think of something."

A few seconds passed before Paige called her tiredly. "Piper?"

"Yeah?" Piper sighed back.

"Why are you in your pajamas?"

"..."

That pretty much summed up what was going through Piper's head at the moment.

"Piper?"

"They're more comfortable," Piper blurted.

What else could she say?

The truth?

That she had forgotten Paige was a half-whitelighter? That she had left, believing her dead? That she couldn't stay with her; save her. Do nothing for her?

"Uh-huh...I can see that." Thankfully, Paige didn't further question her wardrobe choice. "Tell me again why…we didn't…use our astral selves like the last time? C-Could've saved…our home. And clothes." Paige practically exhaled the last two words. The mere attempt to orb seemed to have robbed her of her already waning strength. "What…what happened to Billie and Christy? They still possessed...by the Hollow?"

Piper carefully thought over the answer before actually providing it. "You don't have to worry about them anymore."

"Are you...are they….they're dead?" Until now, Piper didn't believe it was possible for Paige's skin to go any paler.

"Billie is still up and about somewhere." Piper surveyed her surrounding menacingly. "But if she's smart, she won't try anything stupid."

"She—" Paige looked around, squinting. "I think she put some kind of glamour over the Manor. Well…ex-Manor."

"A _glamour_?!"

"And I….when I was trying to sense you guys...I...I remember her…I think she...she was hovering over me."

"Hovering?" Piper didn't even have time to react to the first revelation properly. "Why—why would she be hovering over you?"

Paige shrugged. "I guess...she might've been searching for Christy and accidentally stumbled upon me."

Somehow that sounded vaguely familiar….

"_Piper? Piper! What are you doing? __You're going to kill her!"_

Imagining Paige in Billie's position while Billie in Piper's position, punching and choking the life out of Paige, did nothing but fueled Piper's infamous temper. "Okay….if she laid a hand on you, I swear to God—"

"Huh? No. No, she didn't….Uh..atleast I think she didn't." Paige slowly shook her head and smiled bashfully at Piper, obviously touched by her protectiveness. "Just hovering. Nothing else. Kind of creepy, but nothing else."

Except there was something else.

She decided to lure Piper here. And like a kid with a sweet tooth attracted to candy by a creepy stranger, Piper got lured.

"Maybe that's why she put a glamour?" Paige guessed. "To search for her?"

Glamour to search for her sister...while Piper fled with her husband at the first sign of sirens?

Yes, Piper could totally imagine Billie rubbing it in her face later on.

"Yeah. Maybe…." Piper grouched.

It also explained why this place wasn't crawling with cops, nosy neighbors and every reporter on the planet.

But it wouldn't last long.

And Piper wanted to be long gone when that happens.

"Though it is a little weird she didn't try anything," Paige murmured thoughtfully.

Mind-boggled, Piper stared at Paige. "You find it _weird_ she didn't try anything?" Like punch Paige in the face and strangle her?

"Yeah. Considering we…we sort of...killed her older sister," Paige said quietly, looking deeply regretful.

_She killed her own sister_, Piper refrained herself from correcting. "Listen….don't do that to yourself Paige. Christy killed—tried to kill us. She was too far gone. Trust me. She was _so_ far gone that if she wanted, she could've used Cupid's ring to transport herself to the Triad. And it works on love. Christy even tried to—she would've killed Billie if she ever felt betrayed by her."

"Insane or not, Christy was still Billie's sister, Piper," Paige argued. "And we killed her. Billie would still want revenge. It's just a matter of _when_."

Billie was already taking her revenge. The _when _was _now_.

"I know." Piper dropped her gaze to their still interlocked hands. "She made it pretty clear who she blames for Christy's death," she confessed, observing the assortment of abrasions, burns and bruises on Paige's arm. "You and—" She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. "Y-You and Phoebe don't have to worry about anything."

"Right…except for the witch and _my_ ex-charge who wants you dead now," Paige pointed out wryly. "Huh….Suddenly I miss the good old days of invincible psychotic Cole, stalking Phoebe and wanting me dead."

Piper cracked a smile. "Don't worry about me, Missy Paige. I'll be fine. More than fine actually." She recalled her elderly future self with Leo, giving her the courage for what she was about to do. "We all will be."

"What does that mean….?" Confusion marred her features as Paige again attempted to get up. "Leo is back? We won? Can get our lives back? Break out the champagne and apple cider?"

"It means if you don't stop moving, I'm going to freeze you," Piper warned and with only two fingers managed to thwart Paige's attempts.

"Half-witch," Paige reminded, with a soft grunt. "Either I have to be evil or you have to be for your freezing to work on me. So…" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but playfully, "is there some deep _dark_ secret I need to know?"

And there it was…Piper's second chance to confess everything. Explain why Paige had to be abandoned. Again. To protect the future. But unluckily...

"Paige I…..I…I'm not really….." Piper's words dwindled and instead, she announced hastily: "I'll be right back."

Paige's fingers instinctively tightened around hers. "Where?" she questioned worriedly.

"I…." Piper held herself back from making any promises. "I need to...check on something."

"Phoebe?"

"Yeah. I have to check on Phoebe." It wasn't entirely a lie.

"Okay." Paige reluctantly released her grip. "I'll…just be here . Not trying to move. Or orb." And she suddenly snapped her fingers, activating her glamoring power and breaking her promise at the same time. "Atleast the glamouring works."

"Paige!" Piper exclaimed in annoyance.

"What?" Paige pouted, looking and sounding like her normal self, complete with her trademark bright red glossy lips. "Just because I feel like crap, doesn't mean I have to look like it too."

Piper rubbed her hand down her face. "I swear…someday, you're going to be the death of me."

"Then stop worrying so much. You'll get wrinkles," she quipped. "It's not really as bad as it looks," she assured, gingerly poking her forehead. "You should've seen me when Phoebe beat the crap out of me. Courtesy of Barbas. And besides…" Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "I was actually trying to glamour the big sister guilt off your face."

"Uh-huh….right…." Piper avoided any eye contact. "I better go…..check on Phoebe now." And without another word, she briskly started walking away from Paige.

No not Paige.

Piper wiped her blood-stained hands on her pajamas and quickened her pace.

Paige was fine. With Henry. Piper had saved Paige. It doesn't—shouldn't matter if Paige had really been alive because ultimately, she ended up being safe, sound and not badly injured after Piper changed the past.

This was just Billie's quest for vengeance which Piper won't let herself be a part of.

If she allowed herself to feel guilty for leaving someone she saved later, then Billie would win. If she saved that someone now, it would risk changing her present, then Billie wins again.

She was just going to walk away.

And then make Billie beg she had died along with Christy.

Billie had crossed and moved way beyond the line. She would never be forgiven. As long as Piper Halliwell lived—no existed in this universe, she would never…never forgive Billy Jenkins for doing this to her. To Paige.

_Billie wasn't the one who left Paige in the first place….or forgot, _the voice which everyone ignores for the reason it could be right made its presence known. _Only strangers are easily forgotten …..__presumed__ dead._

Piper shook off her nagging conscience.

No.

Billie was wrong. Paige wasn't a stranger…that's not why she forgot…that's not why…

Piper banished any further thoughts from her conscious, subconscious and any other part of her mind.

No more thoughts.

When Piper reached Phoebe's body, Billie was smart enough to not be there. Or anywhere else in plain sight.

"C'mon Phoebe…" Piper fumbled through Phoebe's pockets, throwing out a damaged cellphone, a mangled wallet, a small version of the last photograph Grams ever took of her then three granddaughters—with Prue's face blackened beyond recognition.

Finally, she recovered a small note book; tattered, blackened, but still readable and hopefully contained her ticket home. "You must've…written something other than finding the father of your future child…"

Something helpful in either getting her back or contacting her sisters so they could summon her back to the present.

"My past self has the Book of Shadows and if I run into her..." She might be unable to lie about Paige. Or her past self will probably realize the truth when she sees her…and then either Piper vanishes or blurs into her past self and repeats everything. "I just can't face her right now." She just _couldn't_ be responsible for saving Paige in any way.

After flipping through endless calculations of conception dates, list of baby girl names, even menstruation cycle, she finally came across something:

_**If you're reading this the**__**n**__** that means I borrowed somebody's clothes without their permission and forgot to check the pockets again when I returned them. If I returned them. So it most probably means I didn't make it. **__**And all attempts to revive me didn't work. Now you're hoping to find a way that could reverse all this.**_

"I already reversed this." Piper remarked. "Now I need to _go_ before everything becomes un-reversed."

_**I'm afraid I have to disappoint you sweetie. With the Power of Three gone, it may be difficult, even impossible. But that doesn't mean there isn't another way. Coop. He took me to see my past loves and you're very smart so the rest, I'm sure you can figure out.**_

"I did. Now I need to go home," Piper muttered impatiently. "And when I do, the first thing I'm going to do is kick your ass for even thinking of saying goodbye like this."

_**But if it doesn't work, it's okay. It's okay to just quit. You've done enough for us Paige.**_

"Paige?" Piper wondered, baffled.

Why….why was this addressed to Paige?

_**But just in case if this is really goodbye, then I'm**__** sorry. I'm **__**sorry for being the suckiest**__** big sister**__** on the planet**__** for not believing you about Cole. **__**I'm sorry**__** I tried to over compensate with Richard and then Kyle(but I was right about Richard, wasn't I?) and I'm sorry for thinking **__**of**__** doing the whole overprotective big sister thing with Henry too, but never got the time. I'm sorry for all the times I**__**'ve**__** tried to kill you, possessed or not possessed. But I'm truly sorry I couldn't protect you from this**__**. And it's ok if you hate me and never forgive me. I'd rather have a pissed off sister rather than have to mourn another sister. My sisters will always be the most important thing in my life. And hopefully future life too.**_

_**I love you, my **__**dear friend and **__**mature baby sister. **__**And even if she doesn't say it or wants to admit to herself, Piper loves you too. Despite the whole Mummy and Angel of Death fiasco, yes she does.**__** And if Prue had been alive, she probably would've kicked out the screw-up baby sister that's me and adopted the mature responsible one. Now wipe away those tears. You might be going on a trip.**_

_**Love **__**infinity**__**,**_

_**Phoebe **_

This was the last entry—Phoebe's goodbye letter to Paige. There wasn't one for Piper, no matter how many times she flipped pages, went through each and every detail of Phoebe's baby obsessive thoughts, there was just….nothing.

The only reason Piper could fathom Phoebe not writing one for her would be if…Piper also wasn't supposed to survive.

And Phoebe knew about it. Knew about everything... through a premonition.

"Why….?" Piper lifted her gaze to look questioningly at her fallen sister. "Why didn't you say anything…?" If not her death, Piper would've made damned sure Phoebe didn't meet the same fate.

Or….perhaps made damned sure Phoebe actually _did_ meet the same fate, seeing as Piper survived the explosion.

Not only that, she was the one who used Coop's ring to reverse everything. Not Paige. Paige was in no condition to travel, let alone time travel.

Eight years as a witch and a day as Death's assistant, Piper knew events could be changed…..circumstances could be altered and premonitions couldn't come true if something or someone changed them.

And a miracle wouldn't be it.

So, who or what changed Piper's fate? And why couldn't Phoebe be saved too?

A sharp gasp behind her yanked her out of her thoughts.

Had it not been for the familiar face of the intruder, Piper would've let out a terrified scream at the uncanny resemblance to the walking dead innocents they encountered once, courtesy of Zankou.

"_Paige_!" Instead, she snapped indignantly as she tried to slow down her rapidly beating heart. "Have you lost your mind? You shouldn't be moving around! You shouldn't be doing anyth—"

And that's when she noticed the terrified expression Paige wore. Her eyes were comically wide as they soaked in the scene in front of her:

Phoebe lying dead, her belongings ransacked and spread all around and in the midst sat Piper, crossed legged, going through Phoebe's notebook as casually as flipping through a good book.

Piper could practically visualize the horrible conclusion forming in Paige's head.

"This….uh…okay all this….." Piper began carefully, desperately wishing she could trade places with Grams twenty-five years in the past. Explaining the Woogyman to a five year old Phoebe was a whole lot easier than explaining…all this to a twenty-eight year old Paige Matthews. "This really…_really_ isn't what it looks like."

Luckily, her pathetic attempts were saved. Paige swayed and suddenly collapsed.

"Oh my Go—" The sentence never finished.

Paige's hand suddenly lunged forward, grabbed Phoebe's ankle and…..and an open-mouthed Piper gaped at the now empty spot for a few seconds before….

"_Paige_!" She shouted and scrambled to her feet.

Phoebe could run around, butt-naked in a high fever when she was little. Paige, she would have to guess, had the ability to carry life-threatening injuries and take her dead sister along for the ride.

Had she raised all four of her granddaughters, Grams probably would have died from a heart attack sooner.

"_Paige_! I know you can hear me!"

Even if she had impressively managed to summon the strength—or fear to orb herself and Phoebe away, it was very likely Paige was still among the ruins.

Her glamour was gone…and if she tried to orb again or even heal…

"Paige! It's really me! Not a demon shape-shifter and definitely not a demonic or evil entity possessing me. I would tell you to orb Excalibur here so I could prove it, but I won't. You shouldn't be orbing. And you shouldn't heal. Just don't….Don't try to heal Phoebe. It's too late. You could kill yourself. _Please__!" _Piper found herself practically begging. "Phoebe wouldn't want that. Just _please_…just tell me where you are and we can talk. Okay?"

The crackling of small fires was the only response.

"Alright, you want more proof? You remember the time when the Angel of Death turned me into….well Death?" She vouched for her identity, hoping it would keep Paige distracted while she located her. "You told me you borrowed my brown suede coat and earrings and never returned them, remember? Well I want them back now, so you need to tell me where you are right now, Paige because I _really_ want those things back now!"

The Paige-hide-and-Piper-seek game continued.

"Okay then remember the Angel of Destiny? The first one? The world was frozen. We were offered a chance for a demon free life, which we refused. And then we—well Phoebe, found out I was pregnant with Wyatt. And it was a miracle because the doctor said that it would be almost impossible for me to conceive a-and you were the first one I told about it. That I might never have Mel—"

She abruptly stopped her thoughts from straying to the daughter who didn't exist to the sister who did.

Every instinct screamed at her to just flee before things got worst; stay out of history's way until she figured out a way home. Stay far away from Paige. Let her believe she was a demon. It would be far better than the truth.

But Phoebe's letter arose so many answers were just waiting to be squeezed out of her sister once she got home. Especially the explanation for the Angel of Death and Mummy fiasco.

Except one question.

Only Paige here and right now could answer.

"Paige, I can't play hide-and-seek forever. I need to know something." Piper went against every inner warning, knowing the truth might not set her free, but still needing to hear it. "Do you know anything about Phoebe's notebook? Did you know what Phoebe wrote? Something doesn't make sense." She peeked into every dark corner she passed. "How exactly did I survive, Paige? What happened?"

"_She saved your life. She definitely is a Halliwell, last name or no."_

"Did you…..did you orb me away?" Piper questioned, wanting her suspicions and theories confirmed. "Is that why you weren't able to orb yourself away in time?"

Then what about Phoebe? Wouldn't Paige also have done the same for her?

Silence only met her and stretched. And kept on stretching...

"Paige?" Piper tried to lower her increasing panic level. "C'mon…I know you're still here so…..just tell me now befor-oof!"

The noise of her tripping and falling over something finally broke the stillness.

After getting a good look at the something—or rather someone who tripped her, Piper yelped and leapt off the fire-starter slash fifty-percent Ultimate Power.

Piper gagged at the smell of burnt flesh.

Correction. Twenty-percent Ultimate Power.

Her panic level did the same. Leapt to epic proportions.

Every worst case scenario flashed through her mind: Paige dying after trying to heal Phoebe; Billie finding Paige and vanquishing her with a potion; a wandering demon throwing an energy ball, disintegrating Paige into ashes.

"Paige!"

A darklighter's arrow plunging into Paige's heart, instantly killing her; Cole escaping the void and torturing Paige to death for vanquishing him; Paige clumsily tripping and impaling herself on broken piece of furniture, or accidentally setting herself on fire.

"Paige Matthews! Y-You better answer me! Right now! I-I mean it!"

Mrs. Noble shooting Paige for parking the Bug in her driveway; Cal Greene popping up and swinging a baseball at Paige's head; an injured, weak Paige orbing into some dark alley, running into the hands of serial killer slash rapist slash—

Paige's death count in Piper's head reached a staggering a five hundred and one times. More times than even Cole might've fantasized about.

None of the horrific ways in which Paige could die or had already died compared to the scenario where Paige survived, called for Coop and asked…begged for his ring. And then Coop's reply: _Piper left. She thought you were dead. And she left._

Now it was too late to fix it. And perhaps….maybe even too late for answers...

"PAIGGGEEEEE!" Piper exhausted her lungs, investing every ounce of her strength into the bloodcurdling scream. "_Please_!" She pleaded to the heavens. "Answer me!" She was a second away from blasting everything in sight. "_Why did you do it_? Why did you save me? _WHY_?"

"Because I'm not used to losing sisters!"

Never did a person's inconsolable sobs sound so beautiful to Piper.

Huddled under the leftover of the staircase—which Piper probably passed ten times—Piper finally located her, still alive, not brutalized by Cal Greene, not maimed by Pratt's dog, not killed by Cole, not poisoned by a demon...just fine.

Weeping profusely over Phoebe's body, with Slappy clutched to her chest; clearly devastated by Phoebe's death, but fine. Wounds from explosion probably worst than before, but concealed again by a glamour, but fine.

And Piper wasn't complaining.

Caught between wanting to kill Paige for scaring her and wanting to pull Paige in a never-ending embrace for…well scaring her, Piper settled for nursing her own sore throat.

"I-I'm not—" Paige swiped at the torrent of tears furiously. "I'm not used to having sisters and then losing them. So I-I orbed you guys away first. I-I made _sure_ you both were safe before I orbed."

"Wait…..You made sure before you orbed?" Piper sputtered. Would the surprises never stop? "While being hurled through a massive, fiery explosion... you made _sure_?"

Paige didn't find anything wrong with that. "Y-Yes."

Piper shook her head, incredulously. "That could've killed you, Paige."

"Good! Better than panic-orbing away like a coward a-and watching everything go out with a bang. Been there done that with my parents. Twice."

"Oh Paige." Before Piper could even mentally form the word comfort, Paige interrupted sharply.

"There's your answer. Now here's my question." Paige nailed her with defiant glare. "Were you….were you ever planning on telling me? Or were you just going to keep it a secret? Like the identity of my first charge, Samuel? You know, my biological father?"

"Paige..I—"

"Fine. You said _fine_. _Fine_," Paige emphasized repeatedly."Which is strange because last time I checked the dictionary, _fine_ and _dead_ are two different words which mean completely two different things."

Piper could only put a hand to her forehead. "Paige..."

"U-Unless _fine_ meant, she's in a better place now, then you should've been more specific because i-it gave me the wrong idea that I actually saved her—" Paige buried her face into Slappy's small body in despair. "Y-You should've told me. You should've…you should've told me." She lifted her pain-filled gaze toward Piper. "W-Why…why didn't you tell me?"

To avoid exactly this kind of situation. "I just…couldn't."

"I could've…healed her. I'm a half-whitelighter. I could've—"

Piper shook her head. "It wouldn't have worked. You can't heal the de—"

"_Yes it would_!" Paige insisted, desperation overtaking logic. "Your brain has to be dead before you can die. H-How long ago did you find her?"

Present time?

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago.

In time travel time?

Thirty years later? Fifty years ago?

"I was unconscious." Piper gave her a pained look. "So I-I don't know."

"The spell..." Paige suddenly looked like someone who discovered a gold mine. "Isis's spell to bring bodies back to life...I-I wrote it in the Book..so…so if we could—"

"Jeric trapped her spirit by mummifying her," Piper informed, regretfully. "The spell won't work."

Still in denial, Paige shook her head. "She wouldn't have just…moved on. W-We vanquished her when she was in Imara's body…a-and…she didn't leave. She fought to stay so maybe..she's still out there—"

"She's not. She's gone." And Piper desperately hoped it was the end of it.

"If we could get….another body we could—"

Unfortunately, it was far from over.

"Someone…someone who's been in a coma...for a long-time—"

"Paige stop."

"It would work, Piper," Paige rambled on. "We just have to—"

"Paige, _stop_!" Piper finally yelled. Someone had to do it; someone had to put an end to this. And the only someone available was Piper. "She…Phoebe's gone. So just please….stop."

Between trying to control her heaving breaths, and the constant tears, Paige managed to nod, finally reaching the acceptance stage.

"W-Why….Why didn't you call me…when you found her Piper?"

Piper sighed.

Of course. Other stages did exist.

_I __did and Billie answered and I __thought you were dead__._ "It was too late. You could've done nothing."

"_No_!" Paige cried, severely startling Piper. "I could've done something. _If_ you just told me before I could've…I could've done something. She's….she's my sister too, Piper. You didn't even give me a chance to try to save her."

If there ever was going to be the perfect moment to tell someone everything is going to be alright and provide proof to support those words, then this was it.

_I saved Phoebe. She's alive. I wasn't lying to you Paige. Phoebe's going to be just fine. I saved her. We got Leo back. And…w__e shouldn't even be having this conversation._

But then questions would come….and one of them will lead to the inevitable:

_Wait. I get that you time travelled to save Phoebe, but why me? I wasn't dead. So why did you…?_

So Piper let the moment pass.

Wordlessly, she slid an arm around the shaking shoulders of a heart-broken Paige and waited for the devastating impact of Phoebe's death to pass over her.

Answers were still needed.

"The Elders...they...they can't fix this, can they?" Paige whispered, her sobs now mere sniffles and hiccups.

Piper shook her head and looked down at the notebook her hand still possessed.

"Phoebe…she...uh….left you this note—" She held the notebook towards Paige.

"I don't…I don't want to read it." Paige out rightly refused to even look at the object.

"Why am I getting the feeling you've already read it?"

Paige didn't meet Piper's eyes, but slowly nodded.

"When?"

"When I was looking for a way which didn't involve us absorbing the Hollow. And going nuts." The quip didn't pack the punch. "I….I asked her….why she would write something like this...She said just incase….if things went horribly wrong, _I_...I was more likely to survive since I could orb."

Piper flustered. "Oh."

Even Phoebe remembered the tidbit.

"Well, that would make sense." Piper shifted uncomfortably. "So, uh..did she have a premonition? Of things going wrong?"

"I asked her about that, but she said not to worry. Every...everything would…would work out...in the end…..that we would get Leo back...o-our lives back...a-and you suddenly seeing Leo everywhere was actually a great sign…a-and the Hollow would leave us…." Paige divulged, tears trickling down her cheeks. "A-And it would stop whatever horrible future Phoebe saw from happening t-that she would actually write this stupid note—" Her lips wobbled uncontrollably. "But the Hollow is _exactly_ what led to this! Why…_why_ did she want a premonition to come true where she was going to die?"

Because Leo indeed came back. And Piper also survived, thanks to Paige's timely orbing which would only be possible if Paige was actually aware in advance. Like let's say through Phoebe's goodbye note which Paige _coincidentally_ discovered. And the Hollow _did_ leave them…..after Phoebe and Christy were killed.

The cogs in Piper's mind twirled, turned….

"_They can't be stopped. Short of some cataclysmic event the Hollow will never leave them. Which means they'll keep craving more and more power until they have it all."_

….and everything clicked.

"Because if we won, we still would've lost," Piper whispered. "That's…that's why Phoebe didn't want to change her premonition." Or rather the part where she was killed.

"What..what are you talking about?" Paige almost wailed, pulling at her hair.

"We…we were infected by the Hollow and the only way for it to leave us….without someone saying the spell, was for one of us to—"

Paige shook her head vehemently. "No!"

"And apparently…..Phoebe made the decision which one of us it was going to be." Even Piper couldn't conceal the agony the discovery brought her.

"But I orbed her away!" Paige insisted, half-furious, half-grieving. "She couldn't….how could she...why did she….she couldn't do that!"

"She's been a witch longer than you've been a…witchlighter. She knew you'll try that and must've figured out a way."

Just like she knew Piper would never let her make a decision like this. So she saved Piper the trouble by keeping it a secret.

_I'd rather have a pissed __off __sister than mourn another sister._

Phoebe made a big mistake. She should've written two pissed off sisters.

Piper's fists clenched in anger—pure, unadulterated, raw fury just raging through her, enough to surpass what she felt when Prue died; when Phoebe choose the Source of all Evil over her own family; even when she found Billie alive in the wreckage instead of Paige.

All directed at herself.

"_Well we can take Billie and Christy out before we get infected or we can do nothing let them get the Hollow and all of this really won't matter because then we'll be dead."_

Whose idea was it to summon the Hollow before Billie and Christy could get their hands on it?

Piper.

Whose idea was it to take out Billie and Christy along with the Triad before the Hollow could infect them?

Piper.

Who was the mother who failed to protect her child from being used to summon the Hollow?

Piper.

Who was the failure of a sister, so focused—_obsessed_ on getting her husband back that she allowed not only herself, but her sisters to absorb the Hollow?

Piper.

Who remained oblivious to her baby sister's inner struggle to sacrifice herself to get rid of the Hollow to save them?

Piper.

Who was it who knew about or suspected what Phoebe was upto? Who was it Phoebe wrote her goodbye letter to? Who could've done something had she just told someone?

Pip—Not Piper.

And all the anger was suddenly directed at another.

"She shouldn't have done that. There….could've been another way than...we would've found another way—" Paige whispered dully, still in shock over the true reason behind Phoebe's demise. "If she had just….said something."

"She did say something Paige. In that letter." Piper slowly stood up, away from Paige. "One which you never mentioned to me." She didn't beat around the bush.

It atleast seemed to snap Paige out of her shocked daze. "Phoebe…Phoebe didn't want to worry you—"

"And this?" Piper spread out her arms, gesturing at the destruction around them and Phoebe's dead body. "What about all this? Didn't you think what this would do to me, Paige?"

Paige hung her head, ashamed. "I'm...I—"

"The moment she started rambling goodbyes and everything is going to be alright, you should've told me, Paige! You should've come to me. Showed me her letter. So I would've kicked some sense into her right there!"

A part of Piper knew it was ridiculous to feel angry over something which happened in the past, one which she actually changed. But the sheer reality of just how close she had come to losing Phoebe forever like Prue... without any goodbyes…..it just revived all the old painful feelings of utter and complete failure, that was Piper Halliwell as a big sister.

"So why didn't you tell me, Paige? You tried to tell me over and over again that Cole was evil and that Dex was fooling around with his ex. So why didn't you tell me that you found this note?" Piper carelessly tossed the notebook toward Paige. It landed near her feet. "That she had a premonition and was planning to kill herself?"

"Because I….she—" Slowly...carefully, Paige staggered to her feet. "She was afraid you would try something—"

"Stupid? Insane? Crazy? _Stop_ her? I'm her big sister!" Piper shouted. "It's my job to do those things! If I wasn't going to protect her from making stupid decisions like that then who was?"

"_I was_!"

Piper blinked, dumbstruck. "What?"

"I was going to protect her," Paige declared, holding Slappy close to her, meeting Piper's surprised gaze unwaveringly. "I was going to protect her. And you. Save you guys if something went wrong. Even..." she trailed off, lowering her head. "Even if it meant...stopping myself from orbing. Instinctively. Or...not orbing away at all. But I was going to protect you guys."

"Oh for the love of—" Piper ran an agitated hand through her hair. "_You_ too?" That just added a whole fuel station to the blazing fire which was Piper's temper. "Have you lost your mind?! What is with the lying and martyr complex? So you _both _prefer to get blown up than worry me?"

"Phoebe would've been safe! I-I didn't know she would…stop herself from being saved!" Paige argued defensively. "A-And if Phoebe was right, you would've gotten Leo back—"

"Getting Leo back?" Piper cut in icily. "Is that what Phoebe also thought? When she thought of sacrificing herself to get rid of the Hollow and not telling me? That it was for my happiness?"

"If it meant getting Leo back, if it means Wyatt and Chris getting their father back—"

"No!"

"No?" Paige echoed, perplexed.

"Don't bring Leo into this," Piper warned.

"But Leo—"

"_No_!" Piper yelled, beyond enraged at Paige….at Phoebe. At both Paige and Phoebe for keeping her in the dark, even after she saved them both.

"You don't get it, do you? _Yes_, Leo is the love of my life. _Yes_, we share an epic love tragedy that would make Romeo and Juliet kill each other first before embarking on it. _Yes_, Leo is the father of my children. But in my past life, my husband was Dan. My _neighbor_ Dan! And guess what? _He_ was the father of my child in my past life! And you know Greg the fireman? He came this _close_ to being Chris's father! I could've been married six times like Grams. I could've been with Cole. I could've been Queen of the friggin' Underworld! But sisters…Sisters…I can't—I didn't have them in my past life. _Cousins_, homicidal crazy cousins, but not sisters!"

Piper was screaming, crying and somehow, still speaking.

"I didn't have sisters...A-And I just can't go and find another sister if I lose one. There are no clones….there is just no _Find-a-perfect-sister_ site. There's just nothing—_Nothing_! Prue...P-Prue is gone. And I can't go get another Prue….a-and find another Prue online or buy her from the mall, she's just…just gone. And I can't ever get her back. And yes, Destiny...Destiny played a sick joke by having the Charmed Ones reconstituted. You got a whitelighter version of her powers, but you're still not Prue. And you never will be. No matter what you do or say! _You_ are _not_ Prue!"

Paige's face crumbled and she started to dissolve into orbs.

"Oh no you don't!" Piper lunged forward and grabbed the retreating orbs by the shoulders. She gave a good, hard shake and Paige rematerialized. "_I'm not finished_!"

"Let me go!" Paige's struggle was pathetic.

"Not until you get me a real replacement for my sister! Can you do that Paige? Can you get me a replacement?"

"_Let go_!"

"Well can you?!" Piper shouted in her face. "Can you whip up a potion or write a spell to make a sister out of thin air like you created Mr. Right? _Can you_!"

"No!"

"No?"

"_I can't_!" Paige cried, in a half-sob, losing her hold on Slappy who joined Phoebe on the ground.

"Damn right you _can't_!" Piper snarled. "So next time you and Phoebe think of sacrificing yourselves so that Leo and I can have our happily ever after future and play scrabble, get me a replacement who's hundred percent real down to the DNA strand and annoying habits so that I won't even notice you're gone, because Phoebe is my sister! _You're my sister_!"

It took a few moments to finally register….everything.

"You're….my sister….." Piper repeated dazedly.

"_Are you telling me that girl…our innocent is really are sister?"_

The reality finally, truly sunk in. The long ago revelation finally made sense.

"_I may not be Phoebe, but I'm still your sister."_

Paige wasn't Phoebe. She was Phoebe's little sister. Paige wasn't Prue's replacement. She was Prue's little sister.

This black-haired, large brown eyed, small nosed, awkward and slightly taller woman was her…Piper's little sister...

Slowly, Piper's death hold loosened on Paige's arms. Paige immediately wrenched herself free, almost stumbling over her own feet.

…And she had just ripped out her little sister's grieving, fragile, caring heart, frozen it and shattered it into a million pieces.

_Oh my God._

Never in a million years could Piper imagine herself capable of hurting somebody so horribly, let alone her own sister.

Even her sisters couldn't ever phantom the idea of Piper inflicting harm upon another soul. Once upon a time, when she had expressed her fear about their newly given powers being evil, _she_ being capable of evil, Phoebe had said:

"_Piper, listen to me. You are the most sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. No, I mean that, you are. You're always there to help anybody, even strangers. You've been doing it your whole life. So there's no way you've been given this, this gift if it wasn't to do good things with it. To protect the innocent just like the Book Of Shadows said. Besides, if anyone is concerned of being bad, it's me, right?"_

And Prue…..

The pain burned like freshly torn wound as Piper searched through the endless maze of memories. She found one which shouldn't even exist:

"_Piper, you hang in there, don't you dare die on me."_

And she remembered everything. Every devastating detail of that day and the end.

Her end.

The sweet, loving and caring Piper. The one who would rather die from Ororo fever than live with the guilt of strangers suffering because of her; the one who never would have forgiven herself had an innocent little girl who believed in fairies died because she was on a strike against the Elders for taking Leo away. The Piper who felt personally responsible for Dr. Williamson's death and fought tooth and nail to save him, but failed. The one Phoebe wrote about in her goodbye letter to Paige.

She was gone.

If that Piper still existed, she would've never forgotten her youngest sister was different and assumed her dead until she saw a body. She would've shoved Leo away for even suggesting that there's nothing left and resumed searching. She would've slapped her elderly future self for being so cheerful she had her husband and grandchildren and failing to mention her own sister, left abandoned in the past. And now...

_Destiny played a sick joke by having the Charmed Ones reconstituted. You got a whitelighter version of her powers, but you're still not Prue. And you never will be. No matter what you do or say! You are not Prue!_

Now Billie had won. She got her revenge.

All that was left now was to leave before she could cause anymore damage to the past.

Or to Paige.

"_Don't worry, he's gonna fix it. I promise, you're gonna be fine."_

_Oh I wish if it were true, Prue,_ Piper smiled wistfully at the five year old memory of her now deceased sister who refused to leave her side.

There was only one possible explanation for why she could remember something she wasn't supposed to.

Coop's ring.

Past Piper must've slid it on her finger, about to venture into further past to save Phoebe and Paige. But somehow, she accessed the ring's powers from here and got shot—

_"__Yeah, how can you be joking about this, Piper?"_

—with memories, _memories_ from the past. Well an alternate sort of past.

If Coop could take Phoebe to Cole's alternate reality during the past loves visit, then Piper getting access to her forgotten memories when she focused on Prue really wasn't far-fetched.

But the more important point was, she could go home. To her own time. And do it fast before her past self leaves this time period.

Piper hesitantly glanced at Paige, who after reclaiming Slappy, hadn't budged an inch from Phoebe's side.

By the look of things, Paige would prefer solace and comfort from a stuffed clown and her dead older sister rather than her living big sister.

Unable to bear the sight anymore, Piper turned away.

How did things suddenly go downhill from being so perfect to…so wrong?

All she wanted was to go to sleep. Now this moment would probably haunt her every waking moment.

"This really isn't how it's supposed to be for us..." It took a moment for Piper to realize the words came from her. "Phoebe was right. Everything does turn out fine. For all of us. Just not like this. And not without her."

It didn't get a reaction from Paige. Not even a curious or suspicious gaze.

Nevertheless, Piper continued, wanting to mitigate some damage before she left.

"I wish I had Phoebe's premonition power...or atleast her cellphone and show you proof that everything will be alright. But I don't."

Paige remained as still as a dead Phoebe. The silence was probably worst than Paige orbing away and never returning.

With the back of her hand, Piper wiped her tear-stained face. She then drew in a deep, shaky breath. "Thank you. For saving my life." Now and every other time. "It couldn't have happened…if you didn't save me, so thank you."

There was no _your welcome _or_ don't mention it. _There was nothing.

"I'm sorry, Paige." For earlier. For forgetting. "I'm so sorry." For what she was about to do next.

She closed her eyes, hoping…willing her heavy heart to focus on home…Leo...Wyatt...Chris..any one of them.

But she swore to herself.

She would do it right this time.

Right there and then, Piper made a vow. The first thing she was going to do when she got home was to be the greatest sister to Paige, that even by some magical accident or Billie's tattling, Paige ever found out about this, she wouldn't hate her like she did now.

_Goodbye Paige._

She just can't have her little sister hating her. She just can't.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

Piper froze. Her eyes flew open.

Did….did her ears just deceive her? Or did Paige just…..?

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You...you lost your sister. Again."

Yes. She did.

She spoke to Piper.

Piper's heart did a ridiculous flip-flop.

After everything…she was still talking to Piper. Paige was talking to her!

It took a full minute for Piper to realize a demon monkey didn't steal her sense of speech.

"So...so did you." Piper was instantly beside her youngest sister. "You also...lost a sister." She chose her words carefully, afraid one wrong move would make Paige scurry off like a rabbit or clamp shut again. "But you didn't get really angry and...go crazy and...really hurt someone. Badly."

Paige chuckled hollowly. "My rebellious teenaged self might disagree on that one. And the someone you got angry with has already wrangled with Fury Piper, hung out with bad-ass alternate Piper and survived pregnant Piper...so it's…it's okay."

No. It's wasn't.

Piper could see it as clearly in the tight smile Paige gave and hear it in her wavering voice as she spoke.

It was cruel. It was mean.

No amount of freshly baked muffins could ever make it okay.

It wasn't okay when Piper took out her anger at Paige when the person she was really angry at was Prue. And it definitely could never be okay that she took out the full impact of her anger at Phoebe, Paige and even herself and just dumped it all on...Paige. Well Past Paige.

"And I vaguely recall someone saying that doing crazy, insane things is part of the job description of a big sister. Would be kinda of strange...Avatars-taking-away our-pain-away-strange if you didn't react that way. So really…it's okay," Paige reassured again. "And you sort of proved beyond any doubt that you're not a demon. So don't worry. It's fine."

"Are you...are you okay?" Piper finally forced herself to ask. Just because she couldn't see, smell or even feel the injuries didn't mean they just vanished. "Did I...before...when I was…..?"

"You mean when you were shaking some sense into me?" Paige actually looked amused, getting the gist of Piper's babble. "Had demons twice the size of you throw me around. So I'm good. Lucky or else I would've pressed charges. My husband's a cop, you know."

It was a quip meant to lighten the tense situation. And also served as a cue to change the subject.

Piper took it, only to quell a nagging curiosity. "Henry was looking for you before when—" She and Grams, or rather just Grams was stirring Triad vanquishing potions. "I mean Henry probably will be by now. Didn't you tell him...something? Anything?"

Paige shook her head. "Thanks to Cole, no."

"Huh?" Piper was from the future, yet Past Paige was the one who managed to catch her off guard.

"Cole was human and after he absorbed the Hollow...well...you know how his story ended. Don't want Henry doing something stupid like being a hero." Paige mumbled, cradling Slappy like a newborn baby. "And if I told him anything...he would've gotten suspicious and done something stupid like...trying to stop me."

"Just like me." Piper muttered under her breath.

But Paige heard it. "Yeah."

A moment of silence passed between them, before Piper was brave enough to address the elephant in the room—ruins.

"I-I don't know what came over me." Piper kept her eyes downcast, like a child who did something bad. "I said some really horrible things...I-I had no right to say those things to you."

"Piper, it's okay." Strangely, Paige seemed determined to sweep the matter under the rug. "The matter is...forgiven and forgotten."

"Forgiven and forgotten?" Piper sputtered. "See now that…that is not normal human behavior. Forgiving so easily."

"I'm half angel."

"When you cross a line, there are some things even full angels can't ever forgive and forget." The Elders against her marriage with Leo…Gideon against Wyatt's existence… even Leo from the alternate future against saving Phoebe from being burned at stake.

And then there was Paige…all forgiving.

Paige shrugged helplessly. "Then I guess they either weren't really angels to begin with or not Paige Matthews."

The typical Paige response bought a small smile to her lips.

Not that she wasn't glad, even grateful for her sister up and ready to forgive her irredeemable actions, it just felt there was something more behind her rushed forgiveness. And Phoebe's death wasn't it.

"It...would be okay if Paige Matthews doesn't forgive me so quickly and easily," Piper informed her gently. "Seeing I just crossed that line."

Paige sighed resignedly. "What do you want me to say or do to convince you to stop beating yourself over this?"

"Uh...say something like _Piper__,__ you're a really crappy big sister_...I_ hate you_ a million times? Do something like storm out...go to P3, get drunk, get mad...get extremely pissed off...and...then maybe... lock yourself into your room, cry into a pillow? Make me realize how terribly horrible I've been?" Piper listed her suggestions. "And not forgive me so soon?"

Paige's mouth hung open for a few seconds before she used it to communicate her disbelief. "Wow...umm…so you want me to runaway, abuse alcohol in your club, then lock myself in my non-existent room, and wait for you to realize what a horrible sister you've been to me and apologize?" she listed sarcastically. "Seriously?"

"If that is what it takes for you to be angry, vengeful and unforgiving Paige, then yes." Piper gave Paige her blessing to be reckless. "Go do that."

"Yeah okay and maybe later I can get shot by a darklighter, land myself in the hospital and fall into a coma." Paige rolled her eyes, obviously offended. "And then I'll wait for Phoebe or Prue in limbo to come solve all my unresolved issues with my big sisters."

"Did she?" Piper eyes grew hopeful. "Did Prue visit you? When you were shot by a darklighter?"

Paige didn't say a word. Disdain and disappointment, however, spoke loud and clear.

Crap.

"Alright. You know what? Forget the angsty teenaged angle. Just hit me. Quickly."

"Umm…I appreciate the gesture, but no." Paige's nose wrinkled. "Saying mean things to you would be like I'm disrespecting my mother. And _hitting_ you?" She visibly shuddered. "No…Never."

Piper blushed shamefully. "But you're Mom and not even our Mom would ever—"

"Piper, Phoebe is _dead_," Paige emphasized the seriousness of everything. "Doing all that rebellious teenaged, spoilt brat crap to get my big sister's attention you're suggesting _wouldn't_ get her back."

"But Phoebe isn't—I mean she wasn't always...dead. But you never really did anything when she was alive."

Paige sighed exasperatedly. "Because Prue died. And I didn't know you guys before Prue. Pulling the rebellious teen act would've just….it would've hurt you guys and probably gotten me disowned."

"No. It wouldn't."

"Right…" Paige clearly didn't believe that. Why didn't Paige believe that? "The last time I was mean and cruel to someone because I was mad, they died. So can we just concentrate on Phoebe, okay?" Paige's expression literally begged. "On how to reverse…this. Phoebe...she mentioned Coop's ring in her—" Paige bit down on her trembling lip. "C-Coop used it to take her to the past. To see her past relationships."

Piper watched the struggle in Paige's features, wrestling with emotions over losing Phoebe and at the same time soldiering on so she could find a way to save Phoebe.

"Paige?" Piper softly interrupted. "About Phoebe…it…it wasn't your fault." Piper had no right to even imply Paige being responsible for Phoebe's death. "I didn't mean—"

"She orbed me away."

"I'm sorry, she did what?" Piper blinked, still impressed at Paige's knack for surprising the hell out of her.

"Phoebe...orbed me away. I remember now."

"Uh-uh...right." Piper seriously worried about Paige's sanity and serious head injuries at this point. "Paige...sweetie, Phoebe's can't orb, let alone orb someone away."

"She could if she got back her empathy. And conveniently forgot to mention it." Paige ran a frustrated hand through her hair as if trying to grasp a long-forgotten memory. "And Billie was my charge and Christy was her sister so... I'll feel less guilty if you make sure Phoebe doesn't do this again. _Ever_. I don't care how you do it. Coffee, herbal tea, tonic, chocolates, or plainly just shove it down her throat, just make sure you get the power-binding potion into her."

Piper knelt beside her. "She won't try it again. I can promise you that. But what about you?"

Paige raised an eyebrow. "What about me?"

"Can I get a guarantee? You'll never try this again? Or do I have to bind your powers too?"

"For what? Saving your lives?"

"Dying to save us."

Paige scrunched her nose. "Uh...is there really a difference?"

Piper didn't fall for the clueless act. "You know the answer to that."

"Fine...alright," Paige conceded. "_If_ you can find another way to get rid of the Hollow, then sure, Scout's honor. If not, then...I'm….I'm gonna do what whitelighters do best."

"You're a half-whitelighter. You can't survive getting blown up. If you could, believe me, Leo wouldn't be the only one I would be blowing up everyday for the past four years."

"Maybe that's the problem. If you did, perhaps I would've developed an immunity or something. If whitelighters are dead, then that should technically make me half-dead or something, right?"

"Paige, I'm not going to blow you up just to check if you can or cannot explode—" Piper halted before the banter erupted into another argument with serious repercussions. "Blowing you up is off-limits. And so is getting yourself blown up to save us and get rid of the Hollow. Even if you're half...alive or dead. Got it?"

"Fine." Paige pouted. "Then let's just pretend I'm a full whitelighter. Just make sure to get some mourners at my funeral this time. Or atleast someone who cries convincingly. I don't think I can just waltz in as Janice Dickinson again. And as for the leprechauns…well they'll probably show up to dance on my grave. But if they actually realize they made a mistake in trying to kill us, then let them attend. _After _they give you guys a convincing apology."

If it wasn't so heartbreaking, Piper might've given her an eye roll instead of a pitying look.

"Oh c'mon Piper, don't look at me like that, you would've moved on. You would've been okay. And summoning me would've been easy too." Somehow, Paige made it sound like she was going away to college and would be just a phone call away. "Cause you'll move on easily."

Because Paige was a stranger; a half-sister. One who didn't grow up with her like Phoebe did. Compared to Phoebe, Paige was just a stranger.

Cole out rightly said it.

Billie practically accused her of it.

And Paige just joked about it.

Piper slowly sat on the ground, suddenly feeling numb.

The only opinion that mattered to Piper was what Paige believed in. And despite the use of humor, Paige certainly seemed to believe Piper would move on easily if she ever—

But the burning question was, did she always believe that? Or was the belief brought upon by Piper's recent actions?

"C'mon Piper…." Paige's sober voice intruded her contemplation. "We both know how it has to end."

"Really?" Piper raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Cause I _really_ think _you_ don't."

"I've…I've gone through every possibility. If Billie and Christy get the Hollow first, we're dead. So is magic. And the world. If we try to use the spell to remove the Hollow from them, there's a ninety-nine percent chance they'll kill us first before we can even get out an alphabet. If we get the Hollow first and…come out as winners, then there would be no cataclysmic event and we would be the Hollowed Ones instead of the Charmed Ones…so….it always comes down to either Phoebe or me."

"And remember me?" Piper snapped after patiently listening to Paige, oddly stung by Paige's _easily-moving-on_ belief. "The invisible woman?"

Paige chuckled. "The invisible woman has two kids. So she's disqualified."

"The hell she's not!" Piper cried, offended. "As long as I'm alive, there will be no funerals. Or wakes or summoning of recently deceased family members," she promised with steely conviction. "Because there won't be any recently deceased. So yeah, you're right. I don't have to move on. So both you and Phoebe can look forward to me whining, bitching and nagging about wanting a normal life till we're all eighty!"

"I've already been eighty….." Paige's smile resembled a wince."Or seventy-five. Thanks to Captain Jack Sp—Cutting so…"

"Say another word and I'm going to blow up Slappy," Piper threatened, hands poised and targeting the stuffed clown, nestled comfortably in Paige's arms.

Paige gave her a weary look and cuddled Slappy more protectively against herself. "Piper…"

"No. Don't Piper me. I'm not listening to this."

"Piper!"

Of course Paige did the exact opposite. The girl—woman just never listened. Never.

"Piper...Summoning the Hollow required the Power of Three. Banishing it would also require the Power of Three," Paige explained what Piper already knew. "When the Charmed Ones are infected, who's going to say the spell? Even if you go back to the past, who's going to say the spell with you?"

Mom and Grams.

It took every ounce of self-control, not to reveal…anything and everything right there and then.

How Chris managed to do this for months without screaming: _Wyatt is evil! Leo isn't around! You're dead__! __I'm __Wyatt's little brother! If __I'm __not born__, then I won't ever go back in time to save Wyatt__ from becoming evil! Future consequences, Mom! So call Leo and conceive me now!_

Completely…totally beyond comprehension.

"I'll find someone," Piper said confidently.

"To re-create the Power of Three? Who? I'm pretty sure I don't have a long-lost twin sister named Pixie out there," Paige smirked, half-heartedly. "I think you'll have better luck finding a being of evil."

"I'll take care of it!" Piper insisted, scowling. "So could you please not think like it's all over and just stop acting like your Da—" She quickly bit her tongue before she said something she would regret. Again.

Paige, the inquisitive one, caught the slip. "Acting like what?"

"Dying. Like you're _dying_," Piper said quickly. Too quickly.

"Dying has no _A_," Paige corrected, giving her a dry look. "But _Dad_ does."

Piper decided not to deny it. "Well if you don't stop acting like your dying, then I'm gonna call your Dad."

"And do what?" Paige retorted. "Tell on me?"

"Yeah!" Which she probably shouldn't or else she'll be responsible for future consequences. "Maybe."

"Good luck with that."

"Don't need luck. Just need my voice." Piper patted her throat. "And a super-loud scream."

Paige didn't retaliate with her own witty comeback.

"And he's gonna be disappointed with this new pessimistic attitude of yours. Besides, there's room for only one Negative Nancy in this family. And that's not you."

Paige remained oddly quiet, suddenly more interested in smoothing Slappy's burned hair.

And it then occurred to Piper.

"He...didn't show up? Did he?"

If Sam or any other whitelighter did, the first thing Paige would've done is orbed to her. Paige never did that.

Simply because no one showed up for her.

Piper's heart clenched painfully.

"Just make sure Phoebe doesn't pull the empathy thing on me." Paige changed the subject altogether. Or so Piper believed. "Power-hungry or not, I _will_ orb you guys away," Paige told her in a definite voice. "The Hollow will leave and then, no one has to worry about Hollow infected witches getting their hands on whitelighter powers and orbing Up There and…absorbing Elder powers." She smiled weakly. "Or be terrified of a half-whitelighter possessed by the Hollow. Everyone will be safe."

For the briefest of moments, Piper imagined herself resurrecting the Titans and personally escorting them Up There to get revenge on the cowards known as the Elders.

"A-And don't tell us or me anything. Especially me. I don't want to get performance anxiety."

Vengeance instantly evaporated from Piper's heart.

Not only Paige fully expected, but she fully accepted Piper of choosing Phoebe over her...saving one sister while letting the other die. Despite everything they've been through, she had absolute and unwavering faith in Piper. To choose Phoebe. And let her die.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Paige...but you're asking the wrong Piper to do this." Piper reigned in her temper, as she calmly stood up. "I can't—_won't _ever choose between my sisters. In this or any other reality or any time period."

And she ignored the voice of her conscience, which, for some reason, sounded like Billie: _actually you kinda did. When you stopped searching. You wouldn't have just left until you found Phoebe. Even when Leo gave up hope, you wouldn't because Phoebe's your sister. Not a stranger._

Alright, so she _assumed_ Paige was dead. Which was...terrible, but she _didn't_ choose Phoebe over Paige.

Billie can go to hell. And so can everyone and everything else who shared the exact same thought.

She would never _never_…ever choose between her sisters.

"_Paige, I know you can hear me and I know you understand, but I can't lose Phoebe."_

Okay so maybe it wasn't entirely true. But not entirely false either seeing Piper _pretended_ to choose Phoebe, to save both her sisters.

Paige knew that. She was there. So why would she think Piper would ever choose? The ugly fight earlier couldn't have changed her views so much? Could it?

"I don't choose between my sisters, Paige. You should understand that better than anyone else. Or have you forgotten the Isis fiasco?" Which Phoebe dubbed as the Mummy fiasco. And her letter sort of gave Piper the impression that….Paige might have some issues over it.

"I remember that." Paige smiled nostalgically, as if reliving one of her best memories. "Kinda hard to forget."

"Uh...you do remember the part _after_ that, right?" Piper asked, just to be sure. "Me ejecting Isis spirit? Ring any bells?"

"Yeah...I do Piper. And thanks," she said gratefully. "But there is no calling upon the Power of Three to set my spirit free. No loopholes." She gazed sullenly at Slappy, trying to brush away the creases on his clown suit. "Not this time."

"Again." Piper resisted the urge to grab Slappy and hurl him away. "Do you remember me using the Power of Three spell to evict Isis? Me _not_ choosing anyone?"

Paige sighed wearily. "Yes, Piper. I do. But this isn't like the Mummy fiasco."

"Then what is it like? The Angel of Death fiasco?"

She had no choice in that matter.

Why did she struggle so hard to stop Phoebe from risking her life? Because once she was dead, Piper could do nothing, but escort her to the afterlife.

It certainly could be misinterpretated as Piper choosing Phoebe over Paige.

Is that what bothered Paige? Made her believe Piper would move on easily because she was ready to just lead her into the afterlife?

She would've tried hard if Paige's name was on the list.

_Just like you tried hard when you looked for Paige, right?_ The Billie sounding conscience shot back.

It wouldn't surprise Piper if Billie used the Mummy and Angel of Death fiasco against her too.

Heck, at this point, it wouldn't be shocking if the girl was projecting herself into the past to put together a list of all of Piper's offences towards Paige.

**1) Almost got Paige killed by Shax because she didn't want to end up burying another sister.**

**2) Didn't believe her about Cole until Phoebe turned her back on the family.**

**3) Fought for Phoebe when she was Death, but easily was ready to dump Paige into the afterlife.**

**4) Didn't include Paige's name in the family tree.**

It was going to be a very long list, which hopefully will keep Billie busy.

"You still haven't told me what's at the end of the bright light."

"Huh? What?"

**114) Not listening to Paige.**

Piper glowered.

"You know? The bright swirling vortex?" Paige described. "The light."

"Oh that." Piper didn't like the question. Questions like that meant the other person was leaving…moving on to a better place. "You don't get to know that, Paige."

"Why not?" Paige asked, puzzled.

"Only people on death's list get to know that," Piper said nonchalantly. "You're not on it." Not until Paige was over a hundred years old and both Piper and Phoebe were long dead.

Paige only chuckled. "You don't really remember anything, do you?"

"Of course I do! Clouds and harps...and bright white...everything." Alright so perhaps Death erased that to keep the mystery of afterlife, a mystery. "But you do know I didn't _choose, right?_"

"Yes Piper…you had no choice," Paige drawled exaggerated, rolling her eyes. "I know that of course. You stop death, you end life. End the world. So you just _had_ to take me to...where ever I was supposed to go."

Unless Paige didn't want to go.

Then it was the Ghostly Plane for her. Lost. Powerless. Wandering with similar souls like herself. And sometimes not so lost or powerless.

Sometimes criminal...demonic...evil.

_"It's easier if you just let go."_

The afterlife was the only option for Paige.

"Why are you making such a big deal about it anyway?" Paige asked curiously.

"Just trying to prove I _don't_ choose one sister over another….for people who might think otherwise."

Paige frowned, her eyes scanning the area. "Uh…What people?"

Vengeful Billie for one.

"You know…people." Piper dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Just never mind."

"You don't need to prove that to me." And for probably the seventh time in the span of a few minutes, Paige managed to shake her entire world. "I know you wouldn't, Piper."

"That's uh...great…" Piper blubbered, suddenly feeling lost and confused. "I'm…I'm glad we cleared up that little misunderstanding. You know? About me saving Phoebe and easily letting you die. Because I wouldn't."

"I honestly don't have a problem with you choosing Phoebe over me." And Paige sounded genuinely sincere. "Any day of the week. Whatever the circumstances."

_Does Piper assuming you dead and leaving also count? _Her guilty conscience mused.

Well considering Paige was offering to die to save Phoebe…and the world, Paige actually having no problem with being assumed dead wouldn't be shocking.

But then again, Paige never had a problem with anything. Did she?

Four years ago, Piper took Phoebe's side on the whole Cole-isn't-evil. Phoebe was wrong. Paige was right. But Paige had no problem.

Three years ago, Piper took Phoebe's side on the Cole-isn't-good-and-shouldn't-be- helped. Phoebe was wrong. Paige was right. Paige never had a problem. Even after Phoebe got tricked by Barbas into almost killing her.

Twenty minutes ago, Piper point blank screamed at her for trying to save their lives, even though Phoebe did the exact same thing. And succeeded. Piper ended up calling her a replacement of Prue. A very lousy replacement.

Piper cringed.

Paige had no problem. Forgave her easily. Wouldn't even take up Piper's offer to take revenge on her.

And perhaps that was the problem. _Not_ having a problem at all.

_What are you afraid of Paige?_ Piper questioned. _What are you afraid would happen to us? _

"_The last time I was mean and cruel to someone they died."_

That they would end up dying like her parents if she ever protested?

"_The day they died I told them they weren't my real parents. Which is stupid because it wasn't even how I felt. I mean, just because I'm adopted it didn't mean they weren't my real parents, because they were."_

And the guilt would be too much if she accidentally said something she regretted?

"Well…if you ever do have a problem…..Just let me know," Piper began hesitantly…awkwardly. "Nothing bad is going to happen to just because you were…a bit harsh or mean."

"I know that," Paige murmured in a distant tone.

"It's okay to be mean. Not bully mean, but—"

"I get it Piper." Paige sighed heavily.

"It's okay to have a problem. And nothing wrong with complaining about it. Out loud." Piper was pretty sure her next words would end up explaining the birds and the bees to her almost thirty-year old sister.

"Okay you know what?" Paige saved her from that fatal mistake. "In my next life, when I do have a problem, I'll rip out my own heart before doing or saying something mean so that I won't feel guilty about it later. So could you please just save Phoebe before it's too late?"

If Slappy wasn't currently occupying her hands, then Piper would've taken them in hers and gently squeezed them.

"Whether you believe it or not, I'm going to save you too." Piper assured with every fiber of her being. "And when I do, you'll see…. everything will be alright."

Paige's face immediately faltered. "Everything will be alright...yeah that's what Phoebe said too. And I almost believed her."

"She was right."

"She's dead, Piper. And if you waste anymore time arguing about this, she might stay dead."

And Paige was….technically right.

Unless Piper wanted this to be the present, then she needed to stop arguing with Paige—Past Paige, and get the hell out of here. There was just one teeny tiny problem: Past Piper and Past Leo had left.

"Dammit!" Piper swore out loud.

"What?" Paige looked at her anxiously. "What's wrong?"

"Just…stubbed my toe." _And missed my ride home. _Thanks to her trying to convince Paige she wouldn't favor one sister over another; a conversation which wouldn't matter because Paige wouldn't remember a thing.

"Where?" Paige's eyes scanned for the non-existent injury, one hand ready to help and heal.

"Stand down," Piper ordered strictly. "No healing, until you're healed."

"Half-whitelighter, half-dead, so I'm fine," Paige insisted, stubbornly.

And despite all her best efforts, Paige still wasn't close to believing.

"Oh yeah and you'll stay fine." Stubbornness made Piper continue their previous discussion. "And rest assured you, me _and_ Phoebe will be having a nice, long conversation about lying and keeping secrets in this family in the future."

"I won't be in the future, so no, you won't," Paige said casually, but with certainty. "Better give Chris that talk in my place."

"Oh trust me. You're already there. And I bet you're probably raiding my fridge for ice cream as we speak—Uh-huh that's right, I know you steal ice cream, Missy. Not my sons."

"I won't be there…."

"Yes you will!"

"No, I won't."

"Yes you will!"

"I won't."

"You will!"

"She had a future daughter she'll never have now!"

Their childish banter abruptly ended.

Paige slowly picked up the discarded notebook and thumbed through it. "You've seen her notes... she was obsessed with her future child. Enough to go to a sperm bank...and even consider adoption." Her voice broke again before she composed herself. "So no. I won't be there." She closed the notebook and placed it next to Phoebe. "I won't be in the future stealing ice cream from the fridge and blaming it on Wyatt or Chris."

Piper was too stunned to speak.

"_You_ will use Coop's ring and save Phoebe," Paige said firmly, unyielding and with an air of finality. "Make sure she has that daughter she's obsessed about. And I know I can't replace Prue or bring her back—" She raised her hand before Piper's lips could even twitch in protest. "But I can make sure Phoebe doesn't abandon you. Not like this." Her eyes briefly flickered to meet Piper's astonished gaze. "I can make sure you don't lose another sister. I can make sure you won't be alone."

Alone.

"_When my parents died, I hated them for it. I was alone, and I hated them!" _

Abandoned_._

"_Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you."_

These were the two magic words which opened the secret cave holding Paige's fears. Or rather...her future fears.

"Do you understand that, Piper?"

"Yes." At any other time or place, Piper would've been blind. Now things were perfectly clear. Paige Matthews was perfectly clear. "Yes. I do."

Maybe Piper saw them because she was from the future, and wasn't overwhelmed by grief over Phoebe's death? Maybe Coop's ring was still working and gave her access to Paige's heart? Maybe she somehow received Phoebe's premonition power? Or maybe...

_"I mean, precisely what Grams was always concerned about. Our future. The only reason we're all still here together is because of her..."_

...Piper actually lived it.

"…_and now, Prue, you've already got one foot out the door, and Piper, I know you don't wanna bunk with me any longer than you have to, so let's just face it, she was the glue."_

The glue which kept them together; their grandmother.

It didn't matter if they were full sisters, raised together, loved each other, in the end, all those other things couldn't hold them together. Then Grams died, so did their reason to stay together. Phoebe left for New York and Prue left for Roger.

And Piper was left alone.

It wasn't forever.

Prue came back in the morning. And Phoebe returned six months later. And Prue marrying-Roger-and-moving-out never happened.

But that one night, all alone in the vast manor and no Prue…no Phoebe…and now no Grams…she was thankful—as selfish as it was—that Phoebe went broke and Prue's engagement with—according to Phoebe—a man with Mommy issues, also broke.

"Be careful. If…if you die in the past….then you fade away and...just don't get killed."

Paige was terribly afraid of losing a sister.

"Stay safe, okay Piper? Don't do anything crazy. Stick to the plan."

But it wasn't because of death. Death they were used to; Death they faced on a daily basis. They died and came back so many times that even the Angel of Death groaned whenever they crossed paths.

Paige may blame herself for Phoebe's death, but Paige did not fear death. Or dying herself. Or being chosen over Phoebe or even complete strangers.

Losing a sister to death was her fear, but shockingly, it wasn't her greatest fear.

_"Yeah, well, pardon me if it didn't seem like much of a reward, because without being witches I wouldn't have sisters."_

If full sisters couldn't stay despite shared childhoods, memories, the chance for half-sister who was five years ago virtually a stranger...well...in that case, magic would be the glue, wouldn't it?

"_Yeah. I mean, magic's the best thing that has ever happened to me, right? I mean, other than you guys. No offence, but you guys did kind of happen to me at the same time that magic happened to me. So if you really actually count it..."_

Strip away the magic...take away the Power of Three, would they have prevailed as normal sisters?

Hard to say.

But take away Phoebe...

"_It's not about me. It's not about Phoebe, is it? Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you. It's…"_

And you lose Piper. And if Piper is lost, so is everything else.

"Piper? Piper!" Paige called worriedly. "Are you listening to me?"

Or that's what Paige deeply feared the most. Past, present and future Paige. Even the sweet, happy future which Piper belonged to.

"Piper? Hey!" Paige actually tossed a charred sock at her head. "You okay?"

"I'm not going to leave you," Piper blurted out as if under a truth spell.

Paige blinked. "What?"

"I'm not…" Piper licked her lips nervously, unable to get her tenses right. "I'm not going to leave you, Paige."

"I'll just slow you down," Paige indicated, oblivious to what Piper meant. "Not that I would love to go back in time and strangle Phoebe for pulling this off…but me going…I don't think it's a good idea."

"I'm talking about now. The present, Paige."

Confusion besieged Paige. "You kinda have to _leave_ the present to go to the past."

Piper exhaled slowly…patiently. "The future then."

Paige still didn't get it. "I'm...not following."

"If this is it. This is our future. Then you don't...you don't have to be afraid. I won't...I won't leave you. You won't be alone." She didn't care about tenses anymore.

Phoebe was dead. Piper—Past Piper wasn't here.

Who else was going to reassure Paige she won't be abandoned?

"I…I don't know what you're talking about." But she did. Piper could see it. Paige stiffened almost imperceptibly and glared at Slappy as if he betrayed all of her secrets. "And this won't be the future. Because Phoebe will be alive."

"If she...isn't...if things go wrong—"

Who else was going to tell Paige she wasn't going to be resented if Phoebe died and she lived instead?

"Things _won't_ go wrong." Paige was getting riled up. "I'll make sure of it. You'll get Leo back and Phoebe _will _be alive. Coop's ring will work!"

_Not for me. Not anymore._ "Just incase it doesn't work—"

Who else can convince Paige that Phoebe's death—another sister's death wouldn't mean complete and total rejection of the last living sister by Piper?

"Did...someone take the ring?" Paige's eyes widened in panic. "Billie…she took it. Didn't she?"

"No. She didn't. She didn't need to." Piper didn't elaborate. She just couldn't.

How else was she going to protect Paige from the truth? That she was abandoned, forgotten, assumed dead; what she always feared the most actually did come true.

Paige held up her hand. "Ring." Nothing happened. "Coop's ring. Coo—"

"Paige." Piper took her hand before she weakened—or worst killed herself trying to orb Coop. "It's not going to work."

"Then Wyatt, we—" Paige pulled her hand out of Piper's grasp. "The three of us…we could open a time portal and you...you could go a-and save Phoebe."

"Wyatt lost his powers," Piper's voice cracked, not at the possibility of never going home, but the possibility of Paige...being so afraid; always afraid of being abandoned, resented. Enough to believe Piper would move on easily if she died and Phoebe lived instead. "Billie and Christy absorbed them when they were possessed by the Hollow."

Paige dug her fingers into her hair. "There's another way…" She was practically hyperventilating, "there has to be another way."

Billie's projection power was that other way. How to gain access was another story.

"And when we find this other way, what am I going to tell Phoebe after everything?"

In the meantime, she would continue to pretend to be Past Piper; pretend she searched for Paige even after she found Billie in the wreckage; pretend she never left.

"Nothing. She doesn't need to know." Paige looked terrified at the prospect. "She can't find out. She can never find out."

"She found out I was pregnant before I did. Heck, she found out I had another son before I did. Do you really think she won't find out the truth someday?"

So far, Piper was a natural at playing the part of her past self.

"It would be too late to change anything by then," Paige said in a small, guilty voice.

"Do you think she'll forgive me for doing this?"

Natural and very academy-award winning good. Her son inheriting her genes and becoming an excellent liar good.

"Will you?" Paige's answer was a two-word question.

"Will I what?" Piper felt like she forgot her lines.

"When you wake up one morning and realize you saved the wrong sister…and that's it's too late to fix the mistake, would you forgive yourself, Piper? Or me?"

And Piper suddenly wished she could play the role of a dead Cole rather than her absentee past self.

"I've seen what losing Prue did to you. And what almost losing Phoebe did to you and also losing Leo—I've seen it all. So for just once…just listen to me and don't argue with me." It unnerved Piper how Paige could seem helpless and childish one second and suddenly the adult, mature one in the next. "Phoebe is your baby sister. And I don't want to be the reason you lose another sister. Not again."

_Not again?_

Piper narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"

"The loss. The pain…will motivate all of you to fight."

"What?" Piper stared at her dumbly.

"That's what the Angel of Destiny said….." Paige elaborated in a monotonous voice. "Why Leo had to die….so we could win the battle."

Piper already knew. What was the point of quoting the Angel of Destiny?

"The same technique was used to motivate me to be a better person. And again on us to fight the Source. Only it wasn't Leo who was destined to die."

Piper inhaled sharply, the realization slamming into her like a tidal wave.

"I-If there wasn't someone else to take her place as a Charmed One, then I bet the Elders would've jumped through hoops to let her come back." There was no question about who exactly was _her_. "In a different body maybe. But you and Phoebe would've recognized her soul. So it wouldn't have made a difference."

Piper ran a hand through her hair, not liking one bit as to where this was heading. "Paige…what are you doing?"

"I screwed up her chance to return by existing. The lost witch spell found me and...and then she couldn't come back. Because of me. Tell me if I'm wrong Piper."

"You're wrong," Piper said quickly, hoping Paige would stop.

"Then where were the Cleaners that day? They…they erased Wyatt because he let loose a dragon…you made the Golden Gate Bridge disappear on national television and they cleaned that up too. But they couldn't show up to erase evidence of you guys vanquishing Shax? Really?"

_Tempus was going to reverse time. _Piper didn't express her thoughts out loud, though.

Paige shook her sadly, as if reading her mind. "Your Dad's nice and pretty much awesome. He really doesn't seem like the guy who would just leave his family, unless the reason wasn't really magical or because Grams disliked him—"

"Paige. That's ridiculous."

"So you don't have to blame yourself for him leaving." Paige's lower lip trembled uncontrollably. "I was born to replace Prue. And nothing, not even Gra—your grandmother and your mother giving me up would work to change that. I still ended up replacing her."

"They gave you up to protect you!" Piper burst vehemently. "You know that!"

"Then why did we meet after her death?" Paige snorted between tears, before tilting her head back to look at the sky. "Very subtle indeed, Destiny."

"_Shax_ is the reason Prue lost her life!" Piper interrupted before it went any further. "Billie and Christy are the reason Phoebe is dead! Not you! That's it. Nothing more. Nothing else!"

"I've been to Cole's alternate reality." Instead, Paige provided more proof of _more_ and _else_. "He tried to screw with destiny, to stop us from ever meeting….and he was vanquished. The Power of Three couldn't kill him, but trying to stop _me_ from ever meeting you guys, did. So Prue needed to die. Prue always needed to die so we could meet…a-and I could replace her."

And there was nothing Piper could say.

"I'm the reason Prue is dead," Paige out rightly proclaimed it to Piper's amazement. "If I didn't exist, she would've been alive right now. Her death wouldn't be used to make us meet or to motivate us to defeat the Source. And now...it's...it's too late to change that."

Just when Piper thought Paige would completely fall into pieces, she straightened her shoulders, gathered herself and looked Piper straight in the eye.

"So when one morning you wake up and realize this, and also realize Phoebe is gone too, and it's all because of me, would you still want me around, Piper?"

Piper stood speechless.

For as long as she could remember, she always wanted an answer. Why every magical way failed to bring Prue back. If everything happens for a reason, then what was the reason Prue died?

Paige.

Paige's answer...her reasoning...it all sounded so convincing. So true.

Past Piper would've actually believed her. Anyone might've blindly believed her.

Piper didn't.

She remembered that day. Remembered Prue. Her big sister's heart wrenching sobs after Dr Griffiths tore her world apart with an apologetic, _I'm sorry_.

But what really made Piper have doubts were her own last words to Prue:

"_**No. Don't go. I love you."**_

And Prue didn't go. She stayed. Even after Piper didn't need to be protected and could only watch helplessly from an afterlife or limbo—she yet again couldn't remember—Prue stayed by her side; promised that she would be alright. That everything will be alright.

Prue stayed.

Piper almost gasped as realization dawned on her.

Prue wouldn't have left.

Even if Prue herself had died, she wouldn't have moved on.

Not easily.

Not with Phoebe in the Underworld or Piper on the brink of death. Not until the Source of All Evil was defeated. Not until the Angel of Destiny offered them normal lives.

Grams practically raised her to always take care of her sisters no matter what.

Their mother's death traumatized her to the point she believed saying, 'I love you' to her sisters meant giving them instant death.

Everything-happens-for-a-reason wouldn't have worked on her. She would've demanded to know the reason.

If the reason was really: It-was-always-your-destiny-to-die-so-that-Paige-co uld-be-reunited-and-your-sisters-could-be-motivate d-to-defeat-the-Source; it no doubt would've received a _are__-__you__-__frickin'__-__kiddin_-_me_ or _Go-to-hell._

Prue was a Charmed One.

Not just some mortal or ordinary witch. With Prue, the Power of Two was enough to vanquish Shax—a demon who could only be vanquished by the Power of Three.

And now more than ever, Piper was absolutely certain that Prue was fully capable and strong enough to hijack another body. Even after death, she could've stayed.

Every Tom, Dick, Harry and even Cole seemed to stay as a ghost.

So why not Prue?

She could've stayed; as a ghost or in a different body.

There wouldn't be any reconstitution of Charmed Ones needed.

But she moved on.

Something or someone made her move on.

And it wasn't death or destiny.

_C'mon Prue_...Piper closed her eyes, replaying the five year old memory of Prue, standing beside the operating table, clutching Piper's limp hand. _Why did you leave? Who made you leave? Who made you quit, Prue?_

Prue stirred and looked down at the younger version of Piper, almost as if she heard the words.

Almost.

Prue's face contorted in grief, and she angrily removed the wires that were hooked to Piper's younger self before closing her eyes and resuming her previous position.

Piper sighed in defeat. _It wasn't your fault, Prue,_ she whispered inwardly, hoping against hope that Prue heard her.

"I know, it's mine."

Piper's eyes snapped open.

Did she say that out loud?

"Yes you did." Paige verified. "And it's my fault."

_No. No. …_

It was meant for Prue. Paige wasn't supposed to hear that.

To Prue the words were comfort and maybe closure if she remembered this. For Paige. It was a confirmation. A yes to her question.

Yes. It was your fault Prue is dead.

Yes. It was your fault my Dad left us.

Yes. I will leave you if Phoebe ever died. I don't want you around me or this family ever again if Phoebe died.

Yes.

And she watched Paige become undone.

"You're right Piper."

"I'm not...that was...it wasn't what it sounded like. Okay. It wasn't!"

Paige was beyond listening to anything that came out of Piper's mouth.

"I just don't get why Phoebe couldn't understand that." Paige gazed forlornly at Phoebe, as if expecting her to come back to life and provide the answer. "The Hollow would've left when I died. Why did she not let that happen?"

"You think Phoebe would stand there and just let you get yourself killed to get rid of the Hollow? Because she wouldn't!"

Again Piper was completely ignored. Apologizes…rational explanation….words weren't being accepted anymore. Now Piper had crossed the line.

"You understood that I'm not worth more than stopping death and screwing up the Grand Design. Why...why couldn't Phoebe understand that too? She was…she was selfish! When it comes to bigger picture, I'm not important. When it comes to the future….her future daughter, I'm not worth it…"

And she had no choice, but to helplessly witness the consequences of her actions.

"….and she should've…she should've just chosen her own life because…because I'm not the world...I'm not an innocent she can just die to protect or…or…someone…someone…"

"_Someone Phoebe cared about very much. A dear friend who he brutalized...__And that's when she crossed the line from protecting the innocent to punishing the guilty."_

Piper's eyes widened as she stared at the inconsolable Paige.

_"And for my two beautiful bridesmaids whom I chose because they're my two best friends in the whole wide world."_

Piper scrambled to retrieve Phoebe's notebook and frantically flipped to the goodbye letter.

And there it was...hidden in plain sight.

_**Dear friend. **_

_**My dear friend and mature baby sister.**_

Coincidence or not, there was no shadow of doubt over the identity of the _dear __friend_ anymore.

And the reason why Prue's demise was permanent.

Learning a lesson about not using one's powers to punish the guilty might've saved Phoebe from burning at stake; prevented exposure of magic and modern-day witch trials; saved the future of good witches.

It, however, didn't save the dear friend who was murdered by Cal Greene. Only circumstances could change that person's fate.

The day the Source's assassin, Shax, killed a Charmed One; circumstances changed.

Paige became a Charmed One—one of the three most powerful witches; powerful enough to protect herself from ever being Phoebe's unfortunate dear friend.

Piper didn't know whether to laugh or cry or be angry or do all three together. Then again, she never really knew how to react to earth-shattering revelations like: _by the way, you have another sister. _

"_Okay, let's get one thing straight. I am only doing this to save her. I'm not remotely interested in reconstituting...The Charmed Ones."_

Piper's plan had been simple: Save the girl. Do not reconstitute the Charmed Ones. Do nothing else. Do nothing…nothing like…

"_Come on in. Welcome. I'm Phoebe. And this is..."_

….warmly welcoming the stranger who coincidentally happen to be the long-lost half-sister into the house like they've all been best friends for years.

"_Piper."_

Do not smile or show any sign that you're impressed she knew your name. And didn't know you as Prue's little sister or Phoebe's sister.

"_I know. I've been to your club. Pretty great."_

Show no sign of being happy, even a bit touched by the compliment. And then go on and say something like…

"_Thank you. And you are?"_

"_Paige." _Do not imagine: Hmm. Another P. "_My name is Paige." _And then do something insane like….

"_It's nice to meet you."_

….offer your hand and…reconstitute the Power of Three. The Charmed Ones. Fail whatever was planned so carefully. Break every _do not_ rule when it came to dealing with the half-sister who's practically replacing your big sister.

_Do not let a stranger take Prue's place. Do not…let her have Prue's room...Do not__ let her near magic. __Just don't__ let her do anything!_

The plan spectacularly failed of course.

Leave. Runaway. Do not talk, interact. Just leave and never return. Then make Billie pay.

That had been the simplified plan when confronted with Paige's living past version.

Piper was still here, stuck in the past. So plan failed. Again.

And then the biggest revelation since _Wyatt is evil_ or _Chris is your son_:

Prue died.

Moved on, stopped fighting to stay, so that Paige can live.

For Paige.

Prue abandoned her and Phoebe for a half-sister she never even met or knew.

Piper's reaction plan for that shocking revelation had been simple.

Scream. Rant. Cry. Beat at Prue's grave. Scream at Mom and Grams ghosts. Scream at Phoebe. Scream at Leo. Scream at the Elders. Scream at the Angel of Destiny. Scream and throttle Billie. Then continue screaming.

So simple.

But as usual, whatever Piper planned to do always went right out the window.

"I'm not important. I'm just not! I wasn't worth my parents dying so I could change…a-and Prue losing her life so I could meet my sisters…and discover magic…a-and wasn't worth Phoebe's life or her future daughter…I'm just...not. I'm not...worth it..." Paige whispered in a hopelessly lost and childish voice. "I'm just...I'm just Paige."

In one swift movement, Piper wrapped her arms around Paige and smothered her in a tight, protective hug. She didn't care if Slappy was squished or crushed between them.

She didn't apologize if he was.

She said nothing.

Paige wasn't accepting words anymore.

So Piper hugged Paige.

Just as she channeled all of her anger into trying to strangle Billie, she conjured every non-violent emotion from her heart and soul and poured it into that one single hug.

There were some things in the world words could never express anyway:

Sorry for making you choose between sisters and your evil husband; sorry for forgetting you were a half-whitelighter; sorry for making you believe you were responsible for your sisters' death; Sorry for making you think I would never want you around...

Piper's arms tightened around her youngest sister when she rested her head on her shoulder.

...Sorry for failing you so badly in a different time and place that a mortal not only lay a hand on you, but managed to walk away.

"I'm sorry."

The words were spoken so low, Piper almost believed she imagined them.

"For what, Paige?"

"Losing it."

A smile tugged at Piper's lips. "I've learned...quite recently, that you're not really a Halliwell until you lose it. A couple of times."

"You said you could've been with Cole." Paige referred to Piper's earlier emotional outburst.

"Yeah well...somebody had to replace Ryder the dream guy."

"Really? Cole? Eww."

"You know I can always switch to Henry."

"Not your type."

"Everyone becomes your type after two kids and six years of marriage."

"I'm gonna pretend not hearing that," Paige mumbled into her shoulder.

"I can't pretend I didn't hear what you said."

Paige groaned. "Then pretend it was Barbas making me say it.".

"You weren't born to replace Prue." Piper firmly maintained her hold, incase Paige decided to orb herself away. "And you are in no way responsible for all of those things. And if anyone, even the Angel of Destiny ever makes you think otherwise, then I'm gonna vanquish her. Him. It. All of them."

Paige let out a snort. "You can't vanquish the Angels of Destiny. They're beyond our powers. And if you did, I think the world…universe would end or something."

"Well if he or she makes my little baby sister cry again, then I just might have to end the universe."

"Wasn't crying." Paige sniffled defensively. "Geez. It's the atmosphere. It's making my eyes water."

Piper let out small laugh. "Yeah...I think I got something in my eye too."

They fell into silence, neither moving from their positions.

"Stop looking at me like that, Piper," Paige suddenly warned, though non-threateningly.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm gonna crawl in bed with you if I ever have a traumatic nightmare and we're gonna cuddle till morning."

Piper blushed. "No, I'm not—you can't even see my face!"

"Half-whitelighter. Sensing powers," Paige reminded, tensing up slightly. "That's how I found Billie hovering…and that…that…"

"Phoebe was dead?" Piper finished for her, rubbing a comforting hand over her back.

"Yeah. And also that you…left."

Piper literally stopped moving...breathing.

"I thought that…because Phoebe died…you…you went away. Which was stupid because you came back—" And hence the sheer joy on Paige's face earlier when Piper found her. "—in your baby pink pajamas...but you came back."

There was no resentment or hate. Or anything else Piper's mind concocted. On the contrary, there were arms, a tiny body, pressed up against her back.

A return hug. With Slappy and all.

"It was just stupid and childish of me to think…that you just bailed on me." Paige sounded embarrassed.

And still blissfully unaware that this wasn't Past Piper.

"And I don't know why…I still feel that way even after…everything. It's just…I know I can see you, but I don't know why it still feels like...you're gone."

Or maybe not.

"Not gone like Phoebe, but still gone...like…almost like you never came back. I don't know why I feel that way...it's crazy. And now I'm rambling."

Piper understood her rambling.

Paige was a half-whitelighter.

And they could sense. And what her senses were practically saying was:

_We know who you really are Piper. And we know what you did._

No matter how much Piper convinced, cajoled, or tried to pretend herself to be Past Piper, Paige's whitelighter instincts wouldn't buy it. They knew she didn't belong here. They knew Past Piper really left and wasn't coming back.

"What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry…for thinking you would leave…when you obviously didn't. And wouldn't."

And also could tell _Future_ _Piper_ wouldn't be staying here.

Piper forced herself to smile. "Don't worry about it, Paige. It's...okay."

But it wasn't okay. Paige back home might pretend it was all okay. Water under the bridge when she finds out from Billie or…somehow gets her memories.

But it would never be okay.

Paige would always know she was abandoned by Piper. Twice. And the second time, Piper pretended she never abandoned her.

While Paige fell for it; she believed with all her heart, Piper came back for her.

So Piper did the only thing she could to protect Paige's heart from being broken forever.

She stopped pretending.

"Piper?" And Paige immediately sensed that.

"Yeah?" Piper's voice suddenly sounded hoarse.

"You're not..." Paige seemed fearful. "You're not thinking of..."

"What?"

"Doing something crazy…like sacrificing yourself for Phoebe and me?"

Not exactly.

"Of course not." Piper was surprised at how calmly she lied.

"There are no replacements for sisters, Piper," Paige stressed. "You said it yourself."

There was a replacement for Piper, however. Time travelling with Leo. Down to the exact DNA strand...annoying habits. Everything.

"Yes. I did say that, didn't I?"

"Piper, you have two kids. Two kids who need you. So whatever you're thinking...just stop thinking."

Maybe she'll see those two kids. Maybe there was an afterlife for people who…didn't exist anymore. She could practically imagine Chris looking shocked to see her and Melinda, still having a tea-party with her dolls.

"Piper, if you get killed, one of the consequences might probably be Wyatt forgetting how to shave and comb his hair and speaking with a British accent. Do you want that to happen?"

Piper blinked before she let out an incredulous laugh.

She shouldn't even be laughing considering what she decided to do, but imagining Evil Wyatt at the eternity for non-existent people…she wanted nothing more than to ask him why he used that accent. Was it because he was the heir to Excalibur? Or was there some demonic girl he was trying to impress?

"Glad to see I finally got your attention," Paige muttered sarcastically. "But seriously, Piper. Just don't," she implored. "Halliwells losing their mothers is a tradition which I would like someone to break. Other than our Mom."

Piper's laughter ceased.

"Wyatt and Chris won't be losing their mother. Or their father," Piper said in a determined tone. "I'm not going to do anything which involves dying. So relax."

"Good." Piper practically felt Paige's sigh of relief on her shoulder. "Doing something crazy like dying…it's not worth it."

"Maybe not. But you're worth it."

Paige sighed, obviously not wanting to discuss her breakdown. "Piper—"

"You are." Piper stated strongly. "You're worth it. And any future...where you're not, then that future isn't real. You're worth every scrape, bruise, ache in my back…..even the astronomical pain in my butt I just got chasing you." She smoothed the tangled mess that was Paige's hair. "Got it? You're worth it."

"Not gonna...heal your butt." It was a whisper, but Piper heard it. And smiled.

"Phoebe knew that. And so did Prue. You should know that too."

"Prue?" Paige asked, obviously baffled.

"Prue would rather die than let anything happen to her sisters. And if her...dying meant all of us will defeat the Source and be safe, then, she would be okay with it." That was all Piper considered appropriate to reveal.

"I'll ask her...when I'm Up There. Really confirm it."

Piper exhaled before she shook her head. "Sure. Why not?" She just would have to accept skepticism as a part of her sister's charming personality.

"I can even push her down to Earth so you can see her," Paige quickly offered.

Piper smiled broadly, knowing Paige's whitelighter side allowed her to see. "You can try."

Yes. Paige Matthews was definitely worth it.

"I got a hug...from you didn't I?" Paige pointed out coyly. "Didn't even have to use the...baby voice. I'll get...Prue to visit you. A-And Phoebe. Promise."

Worth being saved again. And thousand times over.

"And I promise not to leave you. I won't abandon you," Piper whispered simply, clinging onto Paige, letting her actions support her words. "If you don't have powers...if we're not the Charmed Ones anymore... If one of us…died. Or….even if I'm not really... me...just no matter how strange the circumstances, I'm not going to leave you. Wyatt and Chris...you won't be separated from them. I promise, I _swear_. You'll always have a home with us. Even if you ever decide to follow my reckless teen suggestion. Or accidentally turn yourself into a toddler. Or do anything else that's crazy or insane, I'm not going anywhere."

Piper tightened her grip on Paige, suddenly feeling an odd chill.

"Even if I turn evil, you can count on me trying my best to corrupt you until I succeed. You're not going anywhere. You got that Missy Paige?"

No answer.

"Paige?"

The same answer. Nothing.

"Paige?" She shifted Paige's new pillow—her right shoulder.

Paige didn't even stir.

"Paige?" Piper's voice came out as a strangled rasp on the third try. Despite the ache that pierced her like never before, she still held on to Paige. "Please..."

She should've felt it.

The moment the glamor wore off. Or when Slappy lay on the ground instead of in Paige's protective custody. Or when Paige not a hugger, never drew back, embarrassed. Or when Paige suddenly felt as still as Phoebe did earlier in her arms.

She should've known...the agonizing hour she had spent cradling Prue in her arms five years ago...she should've known.

Piper choked out a suppressed sob, muffled by Paige's hair. Her trembling fingers fumbled to find a flutter, faint pulse…anything.

She should've known.

Despite, what she had promised, Piper might very well have failed to stop Paige from abandoning her.

* * *

**A/N:** Nooooo! Oh wait why am I doing that? I'm the author :-D It's the readers' job to do that by...writing a **review**! Yes **review**! Well the only way I'll know if there are any readers is through a review or else…uh…I would have to change the genre to tragedy :-( **Review** if you don't want that to happen and want to read the next and last chapter. Please?** ^_^**


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